By Gail: One of the most beautiful parts of human existence is when we have nothing to say. No story to tell. That peace, that silence, that absence of expectations and desires that are rooted in the past: that is where true bliss lies. When we are filled with the joy of the moment and forget all about the stories that define us then we are truly free and happy. We become available to the abundance and wonder of the world around us when we are no longer caught up in the day to day drama that governs so much of society.
Our lives are filled with experiences and we turn them into stories. These stories create who we think we are. We become the stories we tell. Your tale can be beautiful and enlightened and uplifting. That is a story to be shared with the world. Sharing your magnificence always leads you on to more amazing experiences and loving people. A story like this is worth sharing. It is still important to note, even when your story is great it is still not you. You are something above and beyond even the most loving of stories. There is a part of you that existed before this story, and it will continue to exist long after your story dies out.
For many of us the narrative of our lives becomes one of lack; of disappointment, fear, judgment, and despair. Our narrative is based on past experiences and revolves around all the things we don’t have and can’t do. These types of stories are draining. They drain you every time you tell them or relive them and they drain everyone you relay them to.
When people spend time with you do you want them to come away feeling empowered or drained? What other people experience around you is a direct result of the vibration that you are emitting. We all know people who are hard work to be around – do you want to be one of them? When people fill our lives with their stories of lack and bitterness we want to move away from them. Away from the drama and sagas that they regurgitate and project on to everyone they encounter. It is not about whether we love someone or not, when they leave us feeling less-than our spirit really doesn’t want to connect with them. We embrace people who encompass how we want to be. Inspiring, uplifting, fulfilled. If you are continuously drawn to people with stories of drama and woe then it is because that is the story that you are telling. There is something within you that is resonating and perpetuating these narratives and attracting these people. This is neither right or wrong, it is just something to be aware of. Is that who you want to be?
We all have experiences. Our judgment turns them into incidents, disagreements, disappointments. In fact, the things that “happen to us” are neutral. These things happen, there really isn’t any good or bad, it is a matter of perspective and hindsight. The worst thing today can become the best thing tomorrow. It is the labelling of our experiences that causes tension and anxiety. Embracing your true self in the presence of the moment does not require any battle. There is no struggle involved in allowing who you are to surface. It is not so much a matter of what you need to strive for as what you need to let fall away. In many ways the harder you try the more you move away from your desired course. You are paddling upstream, going against the natural flow of life. Learn to float freely, to go with what is happening rather than rage against it. Time to stop fighting against what you think you should be and start accepting how magnificent you are now.
One of the reasons we are so busy creating stories is that we are not comfortable with the silence that underlies all that we are. We fill every conceivable moment with some sort of noise or distraction; if not our own stories then those of our families, friends, colleagues, celebrities, fictional characters, historical figures. Pretty much anyone else that distracts us from us. Look at the stories you are telling. Do they portray who you want to be and how you want others to feel about you? If you stopped replying to this story then what would you say?
There are benefits to telling stories of drama and conflict. It gets attention. Everyone has to stop and pay attention to you because your story is so tragic, so important, so demanding. You need everyone to stop and listen to your plight. People will listen to you, they may sympathize, or they may criticize, it really doesn’t matter as long as you are getting the attention. Sympathy and criticism are both forms of attention, but is that who you want to be? Is that what you want to be known for?
We can find ways to get attention that are positive, beneficial, inspirational. One of the simplest things we can do is to turn complaints into compliments. People listen when you complain, they probably have no choice if they need to be around you. But when you compliment people they want to be around you, they want to listen to you. People want to hear what you have to say when you are saying nice things, particularly about them. Yes, at the most fundamental level we all want to hear nice things about ourselves. Telling someone how much you enjoy their company will make them seek you out, telling someone what you think is wrong with them will make them avoid you. We all want to feel good about ourselves and the world we live in. If you have to tell stories, tell ones that make the people around you want to be around you. Tell them how great they are, how much you appreciate them, all the things you love about them. Those are the kinds of stories people want to hear. If you must tell stories then tell stories of greatness, tell stories that inspire people to reach their potential. Tell stories that make the world a better place.
This is not the same as being false. If you really cannot find anything to praise about someone or something then don’t say anything. That is a challenge for all of you – SAY NOTHING. If you can’t say it like you really mean it then don’t say anything. In many ways silence can convey a lot more than words can. Being silent is a lot more powerful than talking for the sake of talking. Silence allows space for new things to come into your experience.
When you suddenly stop telling your story to anyone and everyone then you are faced with a void. Silence. Stillness. What then? Often we keep re-telling our story because we don’t know what else to do. We don’t know how to have a conversation that isn’t all about us and our constructed identity and the day to day drama that we are bombarded with. And we certainly don’t know what to do with silence. With emptiness. We try to fill every empty space with something.
One of the most beautiful things about silence is the opportunity it gives us to just listen. So many people these days need someone to listen. Not to judge or advise or criticize, just to listen. We often hear what people are saying; while we are busy forming opinions and deciding what we will say next. We hear the other person, but we are not really listening, ready and open to respond in the moment. We are too busy working out how it relates to us and how we can seem helpful or clever or turn it back to being all about us. Even if you are not quite ready to deal with your own inner silence personally, try practicing inner silence in your interactions with other people. You will be surprised at how much other people appreciate you just listening to them.
It is in those silent, still moments that our own truth can be heard. It is in that void that life is created. It is only when we embrace the empty space that we have a position where we can truly begin to create the experiences we seek. The void within is directly connected to the source from which all things stem. The fire of our passions is ignited in the void of no thing. It is within the formless state of no thing that we have unlimited potential to create anything.
The beauty and truth of your eternal being exists in the silence at your center. Embrace the silence of your truth. Truth has no need to force its way, to be the loudest or the best or the strongest. Throw away the story that molded you and allow the expansiveness of creation to be fulfilled through you. You are so much more than the story you tell. Learn when to speak and when to listen. Listen to the messages that silence has for you and create the space for new stories. Allow your stillness to tell a story of its own. You can become the stillness from which all love stems and make your tale one of the brightest lights that ever shined upon this world.
Love and Light,