My Not So Ritualistic Self

By Annelize: We often look at others and we try our best to do the same, strive to do it the same way. We try our best to do what everyone tells us to. To do what the latest article or crave tells us to do. When everyone goes dieting like banting, or keto we try our best to do exactly that, perhaps we can keep it up for a week, a month or even 6 months. When we need to exercise every day we try our best, but manage if we are lucky to do something for at least one day a week.


When smoothies, supplements and health foods are in, we try to at least incorporate a bit.When we need to meditate, create morning rituals we try our best to stick to it, for a few days. Many times, I try to understand how others manage to incorporate strict schedules and discipline themselves to do something and stick to it. I have tried various times to do various things and most of the time I felt like a failure. Thinking something might be wrong with me. If the standard out there are people being able to commit to these things that makes life better, that increases health and vitality. Things that increases life expectancy, lower stress and makes a greater connection with the Divine, then why can’t I stay committed?

I had to accept that I am different, that even though everyone else might be doing the “right” thing, even though I always try to do that, it is never sustainable in my life. Realizing this was part of forming my identity. I am not like everyone else. I hope that there is a group of people out there that does not fit into all the perfect boxes. People that also feel lost in sticking to certain rules or routines. I really would love to fit into these, I mean they are perfect, and it is great to be able to do it. I try every time, but I just cannot stay there. This would make me feel bad, not good enough, even lost at times.

I had to embrace me being different. I had to accept that I cannot stick to morning rituals, daily meditation, fixed routines and schedules, eating clean as a life habit, exercising every day. The biggest issue was all these things are my game, I love all of it, I would give everything to be able to just stick to all these. I tried my best to incorporate everything, I really did my best and just couldn’t succeed. I was just not able to keep up with all these excellent life goals. So, what now?

My life is a mixture of some sort of structure, but it bends, it changes shape and some days are even unrecognizable. At certain times I might surprise myself that I can keep a good habit for a time, but now I am not focused on “must” do it. If it happens, I enjoy and savor the moment, and when it passes, I know something new will arrive. My life is filled with different themes or interests, for a certain time, I will devour healthy eating and living. Reading and living it. Then suddenly it all changed again and spirituality is my main interest. I will then devour everything spiritual that arises. After a while, that will fade and something new enters.

Is it wrong to live this way? No, I am who I am, and I cannot do the same as others. I cannot keep on judging myself based on the world’s expectations. Are these other people wrong? No, in fact, I would have loved to be like that. I look up to them. Somehow, I had to accept that I am not the same as what is expected, and that is totally OK. Even though it is very hard not to judge myself, I had to learn to accept that part of me.

My day does not consist of a morning ritual, neither with meditation. It does not include a keto diet, even though I followed it for 6 months. I do not exercise each day, however, I try to do some form of exercise at least 3 times a week and I don’t drink smoothies every day, even though I would love to have someone give me my daily morning supply. I don’t do daily prayer rituals or anything else. I do say thanks, daily for every little thing. I am thankful for where I am.

Each day I try to keep these positive improvements in my mind. My intention is to be the best me, to be healthy, to exercise, to meditate etc. I also know that nothing happens until you do something. I will incorporate these powerful lifestyle methods into my life, but in cycles or different seasons. It will not be everyday, it will not be forever, it will be my way, but I know the unsteady flow of these things are like waves on the shore, it brings me a kind of peace.

Some days I meditate, others I do not even think about anything spiritual. Other days I eat mindfully, some days I do exercise, I make an effort to move around. Some mornings we drink smoothies with supplements. Most evenings I am mindful of being grateful for at least one thing that was good during the day. I teach my children the same, some nights I forgot, or we are tired, I won’t stress about it. Some evenings I say a prayer of thankfulness for another day of living.

Today, I want you to just embrace your differences, the fact that you and I differ. What makes me happy could make you afraid. What makes me sad could make you feel good. We are all different and there is nothing wrong with that. We need not try to change someone to become like us. We really do not know what the best is for each one of us, but only I know or is supposed to learn what is best for me. You know what is best for you. We need to dig deeper and realize that certain things will never be like everyone else experience it, and accept that, it is OK.


Love and Light,


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Registered Reverend, Metaphysical Practitioner, Reiki Practitioner, Spiritual Counselor, Relationship Expert, Empath and Life Coach

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