By Ann: I needed to write this for the people who I have been talking to about how they feel, empathy is a big thing in this troubled world. Taking the time out to help people gain hope and faith reassures them that there is indeed a light at the end of the tunnel, you just need to see it.
Is this how you are feeling? You are in a deep black hole, and you can’t get out no matter what you do. Nothing is making me feel like I belong here in this world. I can’t wait for summer to feel the sun on my skin and to be able to swim again. I feel the end of the world is coming and I am helpless to do anything. Everything is a burden, even washing my hair and shaving my legs. I will get up tomorrow and for the next five days I will get ready for work. I will put on a smile and try to be positive and go through the motions of being a happy, normal person, but inside I feel hollow and loveless. My age is catching up with me and I don’t want to end up old and lonely.
The pit of my stomach is in knots, and I have a headache. I know in my heart things could be worse and others have a much harder life than me and yet the feelings are still there. I don’t sleep properly, and my dreams wake me up in a sweat with my heart racing. I just wish someone could hold me and never let me go. My eyes well up, then go dry. I never shed my tears. My dam is blocked and empty. I feel locked in a lonely tower with no way out. I wish I could blame COVID-19 for this state of mind, but it has been going on for too long to remember. This pandemic hasn’t helped, but there are others who are a lot worse off so I shouldn’t complain so please don’t tell anyone I said this because I sound ungrateful. I do love life and I will ride my storms out till I reach my calm waters. I will wait for my special person to compliment me and be my partner in life, because God made me this way as I am not meant to be alone. Just like a dove wants their mate because they were created that way, I will sit on my branch and wait for mine. If no one comes, I will just do my best to be a good person and help others by listening and being a good friend.
Feeling inner peace and happiness is important and learning to be calm and relaxed is a good quality to learn. These qualities attract happy people and project good feelings to others. In turn, it makes you feel worthwhile as a person with something meaningful to offer of yourself. Eating well helps and sometimes taking vitamins and looking after yourself is important along with exercise and to keep your body moving along with your mind. Art and painting can help to relax the mind and it helps to express feelings through the brush strokes and the fluidity of the paints on the canvas. It brings a feeling of accomplishment, whether a scene or an abstract piece. The gliding sensation of the brush is like music to the soul like the waves rolling onto shore, then sliding back to sea, you feel lulled into a relaxed state of mind. The use of color also helps the creative side of your brain and can brighten your thoughts and produce a relaxing rhythm just like a song.
Having an animal around can help a person relax because they give unconditional love and they live in the moment, not yesterday, not tomorrow, but right now, which teaches your brain to be happy and content with what today brings with no added worries.
Love and Light,