By Crystal: A lot of the readings I do with clients are about them being upset or angry with a partner, an ex, a friend or a family member. Having conflict with others unfortunately is part of life.
But is there a better way? A better way to live? A better and easier way to have peace? The answer is yes. Forgiveness is hard. We are right. We stand our ground. We want, no, we demand, an apology, and we will not speak to you until we get it. Then the apology does not come. The other party makes no attempt to make things right. We think they should. They don’t. Around and around it goes. Where does it end? When does it end?
Compromising and negotiating with the other person may feel like giving in. It is not. It is a way to restore peace and harmony to your life. We have all felt the negative energy of another person when we are in conflict with them. That kind of negative energy is harmful to us and should be avoided.
So your choices are to continue having conflict with that person because you are right and determined not to give in, and determined not to extend the olive branch first. Where does that leave you? Nothing can happen if both parties do nothing, and that is usually what occurs when there is an impasse. Or you can choose peace and harmony. A very wise person once told me “you can have peace and harmony or you can be right. You cannot have both”.
Both parties are hurt and think they are right, and think the other party should make the first move. Dozens and dozens of times I hear from clients “when will he contact me?”, “when will I hear from him?”, when will he say sorry?”. Of course when this does not occur the client is upset again. Feeling hurt all over again. The cycle continues. Waiting for that glorious moment when he reaches out and she can declare ‘I won!” he contacted me first! He really loves me!”.
Does he really though? Or is he just wanting to put an end to the conflict? Is it really a win? I think it is always a hollow victory when you give someone an ultimatum and they feel they have no choice. Feeling forced to comply or there will be punishment or the relationship will possibly end forever if you don’t meet their demands. Sounds really unfair and unreasonable – doesn’t it?
So it is up to you. Keeping fighting and arguing, or show the other party compassion and kindness and forgiveness. Show it to yourself. Treat yourself kindly by not having conflict in your life. Make peace your priority.
It is your decision whether you show compassion and kindness to others, or spend the rest of your life in the endless cycle of conflict, where no-one wins and everyone loses.
So – what do you think? Do you want to be right and get even? Or do you want to be happy – and have a peaceful harmonious life?. It is possible – peace is achievable. The only person getting in your way – is you.
Love and Light,