Where Do You Find Happiness?

By Sofia: Is happiness for everyone? How do we achieve happiness? Why is it so hard to be happy? A lot of us spend our entire lives seeking for happiness, yet we have a hard time finding it. The quest for real happiness has been the deepest, most philosophical question of all times: “What makes us truly happy?”

There’s a lot of questions going into our minds, on how to be genuinely happy. Though we all want to be happy, the definition of happiness for each and every of us varies. We all may say happiness is love, money, family, health and joyous moments, but what does it mean to you? How do you feel? How all the above associate with your own personality, values, dreams and purpose?

We are all so accustomed to believe that happiness comes with terms. We set so many rules and standards around happiness.

“I will only be happy when I meet the love of my life.”

“I will feel better about myself when I lose weight.”

“I will stop worrying when I solve my financial problems.”
“I will be happy when my partner changes” …

In my experience, after years of working as a coach with people from all walks of life, you can’t experience happiness under conditions. Happiness is a choice; it’s a feeling that can only be found within yourself. You are your own happiness.

Looking outside ourselves for happiness will never truly make us happy. There are not enough people or situations to make us happy, if we can not find it within ourselves. The more we rely for happiness on others, the more we will be disappointed. Why? Because others can’t jump through enough hoops to make us happy.

We all want to be happy. We wish and hope to be happy but we choose not.

We choose to hold on all those situations or people that makes us sad.

We chose to focus on the lack of happiness, forgetting to appreciate what we still have.

We choose to be stuck and trapped, hoping that things will change without realizing that the only ones who need to change are us.

Then we get unhappy; we are simply unhappy with ourselves. We are unhappy with our choices, and we forget to love ourselves. We expect others to love us first. So, the more we don’t get what we want from others, the more we try to fix, solve, control and manipulate the outcome of a situation. We create conditions. Guess what though…even when we get what we want, it’s not enough, because no one is responsible for our happiness other than ourselves. Even if we find short term comfort and relief to a desired outcome, our happiness is an ongoing state of being.

Next time you find yourself feeling down and unhappy, don’t look around you. Instead, look in front of the mirror and tell yourself: “I LOVE YOU and from this day on I will be responsible for MY HAPPINESS. I am my happiness.”

Happiness is falling in love with who you really are.

Happiness is valuing yourself and knowing your worth.

Happiness is loving without conditions.

Happiness is a sense of well-being and contentment.

Happiness is letting go… of the memories, people or situations that no longer serve you.