By Sylvia: Are you giving up your true self for your Relationships?
Society funnily enough dictates how we should act, especially in an intimate relationship. The only difference these days is the players have changed. It is not just about Women. Men tend to lose themselves in intimate relationships as well. A lot of more so these days can contribute to home life or if they are with a controlling partner. Our wants and needs are pushed aside to keep other people happy. By knowing your rights, you have in an intimate relationship this can help you to stop loosing yourself as you go.
When we don’t have our basic rights, our sense of self is undermined. Instead of growing and developing in relationships, we feel trapped and stunted. In some cases, denying these rights is a first step to a pattern of abuse.
While these rights a valid for everyone women in general often find them undermined. We are socialized to prioritize others over ourselves. For anyone who is having this issue I suggest reading the rights below and find the courage to stand up for them. Not just in intimate relationships, but with your friends and family as well. It doesn’t matter who the person is your rights should be heard and validated.
You have the right to express needs and have them validated.
A relationship consists of a compromise between your needs and those of everyone else. You should always have the right to express yourself if you are not comfortable with something help people being able to understand and support you if needed. There is a huge difference between I don’t think I can do that for you and No, I am not interested expending my energy to help you.
You have the right to a balance of give and take.
Often, there are times when you may have dropped everything to help a friend, a partner or a family member out. You have been there and supported them only to find in your time of need that that person is not available to you or will only give a little but expects a lot in return. This is unfair and very unbalanced. You have every right to ask for the same in return even if it takes some work and adjustment for them to learn how to do this.
You have the right to have my feelings heard.
Your feelings are your responsibility as are everyone else’s, but that does not mean you must deal with all on your own. Regardless of them being rational or not you have the right to be heard and heard with compassion. Sometimes you are not looking for solutions sometimes all you want is someone to listen and respond in a way that will help you feel better.
You have the right to ask for sexual pleasure and having boundaries respected.
When you are in a sexual relationship you do have the right to ask for pleasure. Often at times we concentrate on the other person’s pleasure and put ours aside. Everyone has boundaries, but that does not mean we can’t ask to explore and compromise and also have the boundaries respected at the same time.
You have the right to interests and Relationships outside a Partnership.
Your life is your own, regardless of who you are with. You have the right to explore new interests and grow new relationships outside of a partnership. When you have a partner, a family member or a friend complains or belittles your outside relationships and interests come across as very insecure and really need to learn boundaries. You have the right to be supported in your outside interests.
You have the right to be consulted on Decisions that affect you.
Whether it be family, friend or partner, you have the right to be informed of anything that may have an impact on your life. When in a partnership this can be more defined then friends or family. It’s nice to be with someone who you can talk to and make decisions with. Ultimately, there will be a compromise somewhere as a decision will impact your life, but you have the right to have a say how it goes and the outcome of it.
You have the right to be shown respect both in private and in public.
Disagreements in a relationship happen, but even so you have the right to not be mocked or belittled in a way that is hurtful. You should not feel like they are ashamed of you or put you down, talk about you or ignore you while out in public. When this happens and you have asked them to stop the other person should do as asked and vice versa.
You have the right to end a relationship that does not make you happy.
If you are in a relationship, friendship or even with a family member you have the right to end it if you feel it is not for your higher good. You also have the right to end these relationships without repercussions. Unfortunately, this does not always happen, but in the end, it’s your choice, your decision and regardless it should be respected. Your self-worth is more important than being somewhere that is not helping you in life.
There are many rights that we all have but these are just few. If you have the courage to ask for these then you can life can become a lot easier. For the ones who don’t respect your rights then by asking for them you will know, and move them on.
Sometimes by asking for these rights we can also isolate ourselves, but in the end you will ultimately know the ones who will respect your rights and help you along the way.
Love, Light and Blessings,
Sylvia
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