By Edwina: It is undeniable, we are social creatures whom for the most part, recognize the value of cooperation in our daily lives. Naturally, we celebrate and reward those in our community who go above and beyond to help others. It is our core values which come from the heart, that matters most.
But this is not to say; we may not, now and again, compare ourselves to our peers and yearn for such admiration. Indeed, one could go so far as to say; it is our actions which help defines us in the eyes of others and therefore boosts our own level of self import, overall happiness and sense of identity.
It is then, needless to say; when things do not go to plan, when our actions are misinterpreted and things said, taken our of turn; we begin to worry. We begin to feel fear. Perhaps our public image, no matter how big or small, may be damaged? And there is only one anomaly which could make this shoddy sort of scenario a hundred times worst… not knowing what others are thinking, If they care, judge or share opinion. The mind of not knowing can be a dark place, filled with self ridicule and doubt.
Alas silence screams!
It is therefore only right we prepared for any eventualities outside of our control, as best we can.
I am personally a great believer in living from the heart but there are times when we must shield ourselves from torment which can only cause fatigue, upset and potential damage.
The fact is, we cannot and will not impress and please everyone. There will be times with friends, family and lovers, where we wish we could read minds! When really our focus should be on respecting others rights to form opinion and disclose it how they feel. The ‘feeding’ off validation from others is something we all do at some point, but it can be a clear sign of insecurity and low self-esteem if it becomes a continual habit. Therefore let’s look at some ways in which we can avoid the ‘feed’.
1. Drop the ego.
The practice of ‘dropping the ego’ allows us to let go of self-concern. Our sense of self, of being separate from everything else is part an illusion, when really we are connected to everything and are ‘selfless’. By dropping self-concern, we can experience empathy for others instead of self-loathing and worry. People only react badly when they’re hurting inside, it is forged from their own life experience and deeply entwined with their own ego.
2. Count your true friends on one hand.
Like any good financial investment, paying attention to whom we invest our time with is rewarding for the long term. There will be people you know or meet, who just leave you feeling drained after a conversation. There will be those who have a gift for finding fault and continually criticize, when perhaps there is nothing constructive to take away! Now is the time to have a spring clean and recognize who serves no purpose in your life anymore. It may sound brutal and feel painful but ultimately your life path should be enriched with positivity and support.
3. Be mindful.
Our habitual behavior for jumping to conclusions and thinking of the worst case scenario must now be reigned in! In worst case scenarios such as panic attacks, we are taught to focus on our breathing. It is my belief, when we take a deep breath in and exhale, we let go of tension and nerves. When you find your mind start to wonder in a negative pattern, once you realise what is occurring, focus on your breath. Personally I have always found Wim Hof helpful when it comes to breathing exercises. He can be found on YouTube if any of you wish to learn more on this subject.
Regardless of any advise or suggestions, not knowing the answers to your questions can feel unfair and comfortable. I have had many clients come to me who needed to understand why loved ones in their lives were behaving in a particular fashion. If you feel your has situation gone beyond “The art of not caring..” Get in contact today. I offer you a chance to see and understand the motivations of others in your life, and help heal and reconnect your souls.
Love and Light,