By Michael: “Once you feel avoided by someone, never disturb them again”… A painful lesson we must learn during our journey through life is that sometimes people who we have trusted, loved or even a long time friend suddenly or over a period of time pull back from us both emotionally and physically. The knee jerk reaction is in not so many words, but rather a feeling, it is to think “What have I done? Why does this person no longer want my company?”. You then begin to feel miserable about yourself.
This is often the case in a developing stage of a new relationship. Couples pour a lot of energy into being attractive to the other person, it takes up a huge amount of resources from the emotional tank, and then out of the blue (or so it seems) someone pulls back, they no longer have the same interest as they did, their eagerness and consistent communication breaks down and often you are left in limbo.
Understandably, you start to suspect something is not quite right here and you begin to overthink the situation leading to anxiety and emotional worry and pain.
Still, you keep the communication going, but he/she does not answer your text, pick up so frequently or calls you back within the time frame that you have become accustomed to.
So how you react next will determine how you see yourself in terms of self value and self esteem, and if the relationship does go ahead and develop into a full relationship, it will set a precedent for behaviour and boundaries. And I have to say, it may not be looking so good for you as there will be little balance. All successful relationships have balance!
So this article is really for someone entering a new relationship where the pendulum has swung in the opposite direction, it can also serve as a reminder of what can happen and a suggestion on how to play this out. So, you are now feeling ignored after experiencing days or weeks of wonderful exchanges and perhaps you have even been on one date, and now the experience grinds to a halt.
Naturally, at the earliest opportunity, this change of mood needs to be addressed and if you are still receiving the wrong signals, this would be your first signal to move on. These signals most often come in the form of lame excuses, “I was busy, I was out of town, I just needed time alone” etc., and of course in the short term this may be true. The clue is if it happens frequently, then it is clear it is a pattern, a habit and should you still wish this relationship to go ahead, you will have set the table to what you can expect throughout the relationship.
Of course I am generalizing here, but many of us, myself included have experienced this feeling only to at some point down the line felt the pain of a breakup when at the early stages, it was so clear that in the very least that the relationship was not going to be fulfilling and/or challenging. I mentioned earlier in this article that how you react next will determine how you see yourself in terms of self value and self esteem. Most of the time at some level of consciousness (due to our own historic emotional timeline) we then begin to feel rejected, we begin to not love ourselves by thinking we are unlovable, “oh no, it’s happening again”. We have been given a small taste of the love drug and then supply is pulled from us or we must pay a heavy price for the fix (boundaries).
This is the knee jerk reaction. I can assure you of one thing, if you take just one moment and step back from this situation and understand that if you are being ignored, it tells you much more about that person’s character and personality than it does about how you should see yourself.
In fact, it is a gift that has been handed to you from the universe, the universe is telling you that you are worth more than this and something better is available to you, and in fact, you ought to be saying to yourself, “I’m out of here, I am worth so much more than this”.
It is by far easier at this stage to make the decision to quit “right now” than it is further down the line when you are more deeply attached emotionally. And if you stick with it through fear of being left on the shelf, don’t be, there is a gazillion people out there in this big beautiful world with the same likes and dislikes as you.
You don’t have to be psychic to know that the law of averages tells you that there is a perfect match waiting for you if you consider all your options and not “settle”.
Wishing you all well on your journey.
Love and Light,