By Isabella: So many of you who phone LifeReader, are clinging to relationships which are on life support or which died long ago. By clinging, you squeeze every ounce of life out of any remaining feelings on both sides. Hanging on to an old relationship which no longer serves you, is obsequious at best. It’s like holding onto a sinking ship hoping the tow won’t pull you under.
Learning to trust the choices you make today and those you made as a soul before you ever came to earth, is challenging at best. But there is a rhythm and flow to life, enabled by meditation and other spiritual practices like yoga and when you apply it to your relationships, you understand the forces which are either the glue or the undoing of your love life.
Those of you who choose to blame others including your boyfriend, husband, girlfriend or wife for your lot in life, need to remember, they are just a mirror to your own soul. What you blame them for is often more about you. What you dislike in them is more often than not, what you dislike in you. And when the relationship gets to that point, the impasse of blame, perhaps it is the universe’s way of letting you know that you have three choices; grow, acquiesce or move on.
If you choose to grow, learn to change your perception and your reactions to your partner. Heal your insecurity, your lack of self-love and above all, neediness. Seek to become the partner you wish to have. Embody all the wonderful traits that make for a good relationship.
If you choose to acquiesce, get ready for more drama. Additionally, by staying in a relationship that is for all intents and purposes, over, you prevent new love from arriving at the door to your heart.
If you choose to move on, do it with grace. Nothing good ever comes from burning bridges. This is a person you loved/love. Gracefully exit and even if you don’t want to remain friends, you don’t have to annihilate each other.
- Stop playing games, remember karma will find you and hunt you down like a wild animal.
- Stop beating the horse to death. If your former partner tells you to back off, back off. Don’t go where you are not wanted and don’t bombard that person with texts or calls.
- Stop repeating the same behavior; tantrums, crying, raging, blaming, vengeance, stalking and wallowing in self-pity will not win ANYONE back.
- Stop taking it personally. Many times relationships simply run their course and when it’s over, it perhaps was just time.
- Stop trying to make someone love you. They either do or they don’t …there is no in-between. Have some self-respect. That which is meant to really be will be no matter what you do.
Assess what you add to a person’s life. Are you a blessing or do you bring something far less? Would you want to be in a relationship with you? Be honest. Are you dependable, reliable, lovable, loyal, fun, funny, sincere, kind, thoughtful and generous? Are you difficult, a drama instigator, moody, temperamental, unreliable have a victim mentality or needy? Take a hard look at you.
Also remember what you allow to fall away leaves a space for something better to come. I love that phrase, “If not this, something better.”
Some relationships are there for only a season and as with friendships, they will come and go, let them. It’s up to you. “Let go or be dragged.”
I wish you a lifetime of self-awareness and relationships that are healthy, happy and whole.
Love and more love,