By Ann: Mirroring is when a person may unconsciously imitate a gesture, speech pattern, or attitude of another or by copying non-verbal behavior. This starts from infancy by gaining a stronger connection with the individual. This is mimicking, like “Monkey see, monkey do”. The most common form of positive mirroring is yawning, which causes others to do the same. Laughing and smiling is another way which is also infectious. Women are more inclined to mirror other women more so than men mirroring other men. In a relationship couples may look and behave similarly.
Negative mirroring can be a form of manipulation by someone to achieve selfish or devious purposes, to deliberately improve status to get close to you to use you for their purposes. They can start to imitate you to make you feel that you are similar and have things in common by liking what you like and dislike. This can be a male or female and they want you to see how wonderful they are by seeing their qualities in them. Jealousy can drive a person to be like this to want to be like you and have others like them. It can detract from a person’s flaws to like and trust you more. Sales training encourages this behavior to increase sales.
Positive mirroring can build a rapport with others through non-verbal communication. Women tend to mirror other women more than men mirroring other men. Except when a man is trying to attract a female, he will then mirror a woman to appear more appealing, caring, and attractive. This is also done through eye contact, body language, tone, or gesturing. It shows you are listening to the other person.
Imitation can be a naïve form of flattery, but copy catting can backfire. In the workplace, employees may copy their manager by staying back late and working overtime to appear a hard worker. An empath can reflect and act as a mirror which can discourage some people because they don’t like seeing themselves. An empath picks up on other people’s emotions, behaviors and true personality traits and then projects them back to the owner. The empath reveals the truth and takes away the mask the other person is wearing. Therefore, empaths are disliked sometimes, but it is better to see your reflection to make changes to be a better person and an empath can help you do this. If you look in the mirror and see dirt on our face you wouldn’t leave it there you would wash it off. The same with our personality or behavior. If you see something you don’t like you have the power to make changes to improve yourself.
Narcissists are a great example of copying other people and your identity can become their identity. They lack their own identity and need someone else’s to define their own level of self-esteem and worth. This is due to the lack of mirroring when they were young and the inability to learn how to emotionally connect with others and develop a sense of self. They try to win you over by copying you as they have a strong ability to watch others and copy them. They only want to serve their own interests, not yours. This is called love bombing when they bombard you with attention and shower you with non-stop gifts to win you over. This façade does not last and once they have what they want this behavior changes once they gain control.
Mirroring can come from “borderline personality disorder” which means a person does not know who they really are.
Forms of Mirroring are:
Mimicking another person’s accent
A woman who wears identical clothing to her friend
A mother wears her daughter’s clothing
Writing letters and forging your boss’s signature
Pretending on the phone to be a sibling or parent
Recognizing this tendency is a first step to stop doing this behavior. To be your own person start by feeling good about yourself and that as a person you have value and something to offer others. Your opinion is as valid as anyone else’s. Have your own views on life and realize not everyone will agree with you and that’s ok. You will make true friends who like you for you, not who you are trying to be.
Love and Light,
Ann
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