By Ann: This refers to when your grown children leave home. Parents often experience grief, emptiness, fear, and worry. A woman might feel her most important role has ended. Parents dedicate 20 or so years to a child and once they are gone, they only have each other and it scares them.
The door can always be left open for the child to come back if need be. Most adult children want to be independent and have their own life. It’s not normal to keep living with your parents. This can put a strain on the relationship. Look at nature, birds push their babies out of the nest to teach them to fly to become capable of looking after themselves.
Animals teach their young how to survive and some stay with their mother longer, but eventually they go off to have their own offspring. Leaving home is not the end for humans as we love having get together and family days out. The next phase can lead to being a grandparent, which is very rewarding because you can send them back home. This is now the chance to do the things you have always wanted to do. Travel, hobbies, and different interests you have been putting off and it is a great opportunity for you. Don’t procrastinate, just do it. Life is too short so try to enjoy it and don’t make your grown children feel guilty for leaving home, show them you are supportive and happy for them. Show a good example of how to be happy and they will gravitate towards you.
No young person wants to be around miserable parents. At first you will feel lonely and a bit sad. Gradually, you will enjoy having your house to yourself with less washing, cooking, and housework to do. Do a course and learn something new or maybe take up a sport with a group and make new friends. Start a home business for example, cooking, office work, or volunteer work. You may just enjoy being with each other alone again and spark your romance up which may have been neglected.
Some couples only stay together because of their children and now they have no reason to be together. Some people seek counseling through this transition period and learn to listen to each other and get to know each other all over again. Make time for each other by going on dates and courting again. Some even renew their marriage vows to bring the romance back. The last thing your children want is to see you break up because they have left. It’s hard to believe when your children are little that they will be grown ups one day and when it happens, it’s like you blinked and next minute, they are all grown up. Where did the years go you may ask? The most you can hope for is that they are happy and are responsible adults. They will always come back to you and spend time with you and with their families so always try to be there for them. You never stop needing your parents and life is short, so live and let live. Learn to relax and enjoy having your home to yourself and letting your children live their own life and not depending on you.
Try not to check on them constantly as this can lead to resentment from your adult child and partner. They will use the skills you have taught them and will ask advice now and then, so let them come to you when they are ready and be approachable to them. You never stop worrying about your children, but you need to let them make their own mistakes. Before you know it, you will wonder how you ever all lived together, so start to enjoy your own freedom to do the things you want to do or not doing anything if you feel like it.
Love and Light