By Annelize: “There is not one big cosmic meaning for all, there is only the meaning we each give to our life.” – Anais Nin
The permanent end.
This week, someone I know committed suicide. The permanent effect of it shocked me. Never again will he be seen, touched, hugged, chatted with. His wife will never again be able to say I love you. Never again hug him, kiss him. Never again feel his warm body embracing hers. His children will never see his eyes again, his smile, never feel his hands again caring for them. Never hear his words of encouragement again- never ever again! What a permanent end.
How extreme the pain he must have experienced, how extreme his darkness must have been, how extremely alone and without a way out he must have felt? He was carrying a load he could not bear any longer. It became too much for him. He could not see the light, the purpose or the meaning. Suicide is a daily event and our generation has become accustomed to it happening. Instead of realizing the huge impact such and event has on a person and the family, we often forget about it within a month or two. The attitude of life must go on.
The story does not end when the person commits suicide, it is only the beginning. The start of a painful life full of heartache, grief, anger, rejection and blame for many. Yes, the ones that are alive must continue living, scarred and living with a defect.
Even if every piece of their body wants to die too, they must somehow find a way to carry on. Their unanswered questions must be buried alive because there is no one to answer it for them. Their anger that fumes inside of them needs to be tamed as if to tame a wild tiger overnight. The feeling of rejection, was I not good enough for them, why did they have to leave me? Why did they abandon me?
The blame of why this happened, what they could have done more, how they could have intervened eating at their hearts. Screaming, scratching like someone trying to awake from a terrible nightmare they are trying to wake up, but they can’t as this is their new reality. The process of lady grief will have her way in their lives, whether they want it or not. She will come bombarding in with all her little facets when they just wanted to be left alone. They also want to die what is the use to continue without this person?
The reality we live in.
The World Health Organization (WHO) estimates that each year approximately 1 million people die from suicide, one death every 40 seconds. It is predicted that by 2020 the rate of death will increase to one every 20 seconds. Ponder this, every 20 seconds means 3 persons are dying each 1 minute of every day, from only suicide!
If 1 million people die from suicide, we can estimate that each person’s death influences average about 4 family members but if we take into account extended family members, friends, clients, colleagues etc., the amount increases significantly to about 10-20 and even more. If 1 million people die from suicide and every death affected only 20 people, then 20 million people are affected by suicide each year. The truth is there are many more people affected by this.
We need to be more concerned with suicide, a 60% increase took place over the past 40 years showing that our generation is not moving towards betterment but towards situations where people don’t see an outcome.
Our current lifestyle leads to loneliness, despair, lack of vision and hope, exclusivity and extreme emotional pain. Not having skills to deal with these situations makes everyone vulnerable. We need to listen, feel, hear, study and break new grounds on how to address suicide. Intervening, fighting, embracing, encouraging the ones that can’t help themselves. Showing them purpose and meaning in life.
How can we help?
Purpose means the reason for which something exists. We need to find a purpose to find meaning for our existence. Assisting someone to see their purpose will give them a reason to live. If we have a purpose, no matter how small, even if our mind is filled with darkness, overcome by despair, the little dim light of purpose can keep a person alive. It can extend time for small cracks to slowly break open so even more light can pour in.
If your friend or a loved one is good at one thing, then that thing that makes them special, because only they can do it like they do it. They are needed to do just that. Whether it is singing or writing, drawing, creating things with their hands, having a baby, a child, any small thing that they are needed for that creates a purpose for them.
We need to be there for others in darkness, to help them see the little light of purpose and meaning. It will be a little lifeline they can hang onto for a little while longer, and then a little longer until finally the breakthrough comes. Saving people and families from so much heartache and trauma.
Every life counts, every person counts, every heartbeat is worth being alive. Be bold, speak out, love more and let’s help the ones that needs to be comforted today. Let’s open our hearts to one another. Saving them means saving you, means saving millions of mothers, fathers, daughters, sons, uncles, aunts and friends.
We can stop this from becoming a permanent end, by giving each person a glimpse of purpose, a meaning to live for. Preventing one death is saving more than 20 people from heartache and a life filled with pain, anger, sadness and despair. Let’s save Suicide.
Love and Light,