By Livia: Read this article to the end if you want the truth about futures and happiness and you will see how I can help you move towards a future in which you will find true love and satisfying relationships, and never again have to ask, “Does he love me?”
Since working for LifeReader, I have noticed that most of my clients are women and most of them are interested in knowing one thing:
“Does he love me?”
Now whereas, love is a beautiful thing, and it is nice to be in a loving relationship, the urgency and frequency of this question, leaves me more questions:
- Are women ripe peaches sitting on a tree just waiting to be picked by whoever comes along and takes a fancy to them?
- Does this huge desire indicate that a woman’s sense of importance comes from being with a man?
- Why do women not ask ”Do I love him”, or “Is there enough to keep me interested in the future?”
- Why, after a break up, do they ask “ Will he come back?”
Now, as I am a woman myself, and have experienced the devastation that comes from the break up of a long term relationship, I have reflected on these questions, and I conclude that they all arise from just one thing: low self esteem.
Unfortunately, when we find ourselves in a relationship, our sense of self can come from the opinion of the significant other. If that one is there, it is important to know he loves me, because then I am OK. If he leaves, and we want to know if he will come back, maybe what we are really asking is:
“Will I be OK again?”
Essentially we are asking ourselves;
“What is wrong with me, why does he not like me?”
“What have I done or been that is wrong?
“How can I change myself so that he likes me again?”
In other words:
“What can I do, be, or say so that I am OK again?”
In all this, the I would suggest, the better question to ask would be:
“Do I REALLY like him?”
I would urge women to ask this question, for this is essentially the most important one. Does this person have enough to keep you interested, amused and engaged in a relationship in the long term? Is there enough of a spark between you? Do you have enough interests in common? Are you similar enough and different enough from each other to guarantee lively conversations etc. etc. etc.
A relationship is an active, dynamic interaction between two beings. Women are not passive elements in a relationship. Relationships depend on giving and taking. What do I have to give, what am I willing to give, can I graciously accept and be open to what the other wants to give me?
Another important element in a relationship is a commitment to love. This means – a choice. Relationships are not just about a magic meeting in which the two mysteriously fall in love and remain so forever, with no input on the part of either.
There are chemical attractions and natural affinities and the fact that people when they first meet automatically show the best part of themselves and tend to be very giving.
So two very giving people, chemical attraction and natural affinities – Sparks!!!
The two being very giving means that naturally each is also receiving so much, that they feel completely happy, fulfilled and at peace.
What happens later is one or the other may need to go back to ‘normal life’ with its multiple demands, so that complete availability is no longer possible, and even when the two are able to be together, one or the other may be preoccupied and thus not able to be totally present.
Demands and resentments can then creep in (Why doesn’t he do this for me, why did he do that to me, how could he?). And judgement – Why is he like that, why doesn’t he do anything to improve himself, why isn’t he stronger, better looking, more successful, more caring? etc. etc. etc.
The one antidote to all these problems is love, but not love, as that nice, warm fuzzy that seemed to switch itself on automatically when the two first meet, but love that is an action, an active activity and above all a choice.
It is possible to be attracted and to have strong affinity with more than one person, however it is love, and the choice to be committed to one of these possible people that makes the difference.
Love that allows for forgiveness, that can sweep away resentment, love that allows for conflict be- cause each is there for the long haul, and thus prepared to listen to any grievances, love that chooses to be there as much as possible, even when it is difficult, love that rewards all its own sacrifices with itself.
In the end, when people are kind to each other, genuinely have the other’s interests at heart, are willing to love, honor and respect each other, then life is beautiful.
As a friend of mine once said;
Love is not: Sleeping with someone or going on fancy dates.
Love is: Peace when you are together; when you enjoy being with someone just because it is them.
Love is not: the thrill of being able to show off to your friends because you
have nailed ‘a catch’.
Love is: The absence of competition; total respect.
Love is not: Being scared to tell the truth.
Love is: Total truth without fear.
All this is possible when each is aware of their own value without needing someone to partner them in order to be convinced that they are OK.
This is possible when each is aware that they are OK from the word go. Each has a lot to offer, and this is true whether or not a loved one rejects them.
So, to all my dear seekers of truth, I would suggest rather than asking the question:
‘Does he love me?’
I would urge that the great Number One Question be:
‘Do I love myself?’
‘Do I love, honor, respect and care for myself, am I aware of all I have to give, am I willing to give to another, do I believe I have and am enough to love, honor, respect and care for myself and for another?’
I would then strongly suggest that the Number Two Question be:
‘Does he love, honor, respect and care for himself? Is he aware of all he has to give, is he willing to give to another? Does he believe he has and is enough to love, honor, respect and care for himself and for another?’
and therefore, “Can I love Him?”
What does all this have to do with the Future?
I am Livia, I have the ability to tune into the future, but more importantly I can help you move to the future that you want, a future in which you will never have to ask:”Does he love me?”.
This is because the future depends on ourselves. Unfortunately, as women we are brought up to believe that we need a man by our side to be complete, we need a man’s approval to be able to approve of ourselves. What if this were reversed and we already approved of ourselves? What if the truth is that it is more likely to find a valid and valuable partner if you already approve of yourself?
You see, the future is a result of our present, and of what we believe right now. Many of us have learnt from the world that we are worthless without a man. But unfortunately it is this very belief that can cause us to attract men who are less than desirable.
Through my healing techniques, and with your permission, I can step in to your energy body, re- move those beliefs that are unhelpful, and replace them with beliefs about your value. In this way your self esteem will be independent of your partner’s opinion and you will be free to find the man you can really create a joyous, worthwhile, creative relationship with. It will never occur to you to ask “Does he love me?” because you will know.
What are you waiting for?
Love and Light,