Changing How We Think About Soulmates

By Faith: I get the question, “So is my lover/partner/crush my soul mate?” a lot. And sometimes, it’s a really tough one to answer, even with the help of my guides and the Universe. The traditional (and romanticized) definition in most people’s minds of a ‘soul mate’ is a lover who comes back into your life, who you connect with on such a deep level and share so many commonalities with, that you feel you’ve known them before. In my experience however, it’s just not as easily explained as that.

1faith2 Essentially, I feel there are three different types of soulmates: the eternal friend, the lover who comes into our lives for a season, and the lover who comes into our life for a reason. The first kids of soulmate, is purely a friend. Have you ever met someone at a party, or in their weirdest circumstances, and just got on with them straight away? And when you look back, after many years of knowing them, you see them travelling a similar path to you? Or you haven’t spoken to them in weeks, months or (sometimes) years, yet when you talk to them again it’s like old times. This is the soulmate friendship, and you will have several of these in your lifetime. No romance, just a deep connection with another person who you innately know has your back in any circumstance and who you can share your most private and personal thoughts and emotions with, without fear of judgement. Whether life distances you, or you grow apart, you will remain eternal friends into the next life.

The second type of soul mate is of the romantic type, but not forever. This I like to call the soul mate for a season. They come into your life to teach you very important lessons that will help your soul to grow, then they exit. These types of soul mates don’t come into our lives gently either. They come in, and go out, like a wrecking ball. They’re the ones who have us thinking of the crazy connection all the time, then sobbing at 3 in the morning, looking at a text that’s been read but probably will never be answered. This connection is beautiful while it lasts, but soon enough there will be problems and things simply don’t work out, nor are they meant to. These people come into our lives to teach us the lessons we need to learn. Its then up to you how you move forward with that lesson.

I have experienced this with someone close to me. She met a lovely person, and things were wonderful to start with. But as the relationship developed, she started to realize that despite the great affinity and closeness they had, she didn’t feel whole. He didn’t make her a better person, nor did she feel she could be her true self around him. So, they ended it, and it took her a full year to recover from the effect he had on her. And she learned what she wanted in a relationship. That she couldn’t be anyone else but herself. And that love sometimes isn’t enough, that you can love someone, but it doesn’t mean you are going to be together forever.

The third type is the soulmate that comes into your life for a reason. The reason differs, but mostly it’s that person who you feel amazing connection and affinity with, who allows you to the be your true self. Who completes you, makes you feel whole. They will always bring out the best in you, and allow you to be YOU. They will not play on your insecurities, they will love and support you with them. There are arguments, but together you sort through the issues and because you are being your true selves, there’s no need for pretending. Together you love and support each other and provide a safe haven for each other in this mad mad world.

So, really, in answer to “Is this person my soulmate?” the answer is yes, could be. But what type of soulmate? Think about those people in your life right now, and the people who have been in your past, and suddenly, the soulmates will stand out. You’ll see the friends who you haven’t spoken to in years, but every time you do, its like old times. You’ll see the ex’s who were like a drug, yet really taught us what we don’t want. And let’s hope you’re either blessed or soon to be blessed, with that one singular soulmate that comes into our life for a reason, and who completes us.


Love and Light,


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