By Roxanne: Two of the most common questions I am asked are, “Does he/she/they want to be in a relationship with me?” and “How can I take our relationship to the next level?” Wanting to be on the same level as the person you’re involved with is natural, but it’s more difficult than one might expect. Especially considering that we rarely give ourselves time to check in with our own expectations and desires. Oftentimes, we are caught at a crossroad between what we want from our relationship and what is expected from us.
The modern world has developed a culture of instant gratification, and we struggle to allow time for reflection and gratitude. This shift in perception has changed us all, though not equally. The way we experience time deeply affects our motivations, expectations, and actions. Some of us are worried about what will happen 20 years in the future. Some of us dwell on distant memories. Others live moment to moment. Rediscovering the wisdom of patience can help us to enrich our relationships and assist us in developing a more fulfilling life.
So how do I know if he/she/they wants to be in a relationship with me? Maybe the question you should be asking first, is are you happy? Are you happy with the way you spend time together? Are you happy with the way this person treats you? Are you happy with the frequency of communication? If you’ve answered yes to all or many of these things then great! Enjoy the moment! Relax and allow yourself the time to savour the blossoming of your relationship! If you are destined to be together, you will have plenty of time to plan for the future. Moments where we are truly free to slow down and enjoy the moment are few and far between. Take this time to rediscover gratitude and wonder.
Say you’ve been riding that merry-go-round for quite some time now. You’ve enjoyed the ride but now you’re ready to stop the ride and take your horse to new places. What about the other person? Hopping off the merry-go-round might be a difficult decision for the other person. Convincing the other person to join you on your journey requires patience, dedication and most importantly, trust. I know from experience that this can be a frustratingly slow process.
It is important to recognize that you may not be on the same page with regards to time. Where you look at the future and see adventure and excitement, the other person might see danger and peril. The other person might be stuck in the past, looking back with rose tinted lenses or hurt and betrayal. They might be content with where they are now, it is predictable and safe. Either way, pushing the other person off the cliff or giving ultimatums is not going to help the relationship move forward.
The best way to move forward is not to look at the next step but focus on the memories you create together. Try and think of the relationship as a necklace and each bead represents a little memory. If you are worried about the strength of the thread you may lose sight of the bigger picture and forget to collect more beads. Falling in love is a beautiful journey to be shared between you so why rush to the finish line? Take your time and enjoy the experience!
Love and Light,