By Counselor Karen: In our lifetime, there will be plenty of seasons where we encounter new friends. I believe that all friends are meant to come into our lives, even if it is for a short time. Knowing when to sever those ties though can be just as important as growing a relationship with someone that has fallen off the path of having your best interests at heart.
Life is hard. Let’s face it. There are days we all need some encouragement and love from our peers. We tend to rely on friends to vent to and be there for us. But sometimes we find the friends that once were there for us are no longer the people we thought them to be. You ask yourself, “When did they change?” “Did I do something wrong?”
The fact is it is not always you. Sometimes life is moving you both in different directions. Usually during this time those friends that once were so close to you start to show traits of being fair-weather friends. That is when you need to ask yourself, do you need that negativity in your life or should you find a way to let go?
The answer is you need to do what is best for you. If someone is making you feel bad about yourself or always knocking you down because they are jealous, then it is time to go a different direction. You don’t have to be mean about it. You just need to be honest. Your paths crossed for a reason, but sometimes it is only for a season. The things that you were meant to have each other in your lives might be done with. God has a way of making that known when we ask in prayer about our decisions.
Fair-weather friends can be a huge obstacle to overcome, but if you truly believe in who you are and the friend you were to them, then you can understand that once they start acting this way it is hard to go back to how things were. Letting go does not have to be something that turns into a fight. There are ways to slowly let go such as distancing yourself from them, rejecting requests to see them, or just getting busy with other things that bring joy to your life.
While friends are so important to us, they can also end up being our worst nightmare. Some people like to be surrounded by people and so lots of friends are important to them, but they fail to realize that in large groups of friends that some are not going to be true. Having friends is about having people around you that love your flaws and all. If you see certain friends are changing how they are with you then you need to re-evaluate the circumstances. Having lots of friends is great, but to have a few friends you trust with your happiness is far greater a gift.
Signs of a fair weather friend include:
1. They do not spend as much time with you. They used to spend all the time with you.
2. They are looking in other directions for new friends and hanging out with a new crowd not including you.
3. They tend to talk about you behind your back when you are not around.
4. They are always competing with you. (looks, weight, money, clothes, or just life in general)
5. They avoid you in a crowd.
6. They come around only when they have nothing else to do.
These are just a few signs. So if you are feeling like you may have some fair weather friends around you… don’t let them steal your joy. Your happiness is up to you and the people you surround yourself with are a direct reflection of the type of person you are as well. Let go and Let God bring someone new that can appreciate you for who you are! Friends that can relate to where you are in life right now!
Love and Light,