By Sarah: When a couple has been together for a while and day to day reality has set in and become boring, it may be hard for each individual to know who they really are. Often times there are heaps of arguments and the relationship becomes totally unsettled and often a break up occurs. In marriage, this is usually called a separation.
Many of the clients who come my way are going through a separation or a break up with the person who they love and I am always asked if this is the end of the relationship.
Obviously, when a break up happens, emotions are left raw – the one person you spent your life living for has now moved out of the picture and life can seem daunting, unreal and very painful.
The first few days can feel horrific – you so badly want to pick up the phone and text. The text may be pleading in nature for them to come back, or it could be an angry message full of hate speech. The very best thing that an individual can do during this time is just to settle down and go quiet. It is always a good idea to send a text to the one you are separated from stating that you love and care for them deeply, but you now need to take time for yourself. This ‘me time’ is badly needed as so often in a relationship we get so absorbed in being with the other person that we actually forget who we are as individuals.
For example, you may have forgotten what favorite snack food you like to munch on before you go to bed. You may indeed have forgotten what time you even prefer to go to sleep. What time you wake up. What you would do as an individual on a normal Sunday afternoon. These are all the things that you can do whilst you are in the early stages of a break-up and separation – focus purely on you.
There are a few tarot cards that come through for a client when facing and living through a separation. The High Priestess represents the Healing which must take place. The Tower shows the explosion within the relationship. Judgement shows that the turning point has now come.
A separation can bring enormous growth into an individual’s life. It is very important not to bombard the other person with messages, especially if that person has grown cold and indifferent within the relationship. You need to keep away so that they actually start to appreciate the value that you brought into their life and how lonely life can be on the other side of the fence. I have found in most relationships the men are far slower at processing emotions and what’s going on around them so ladies – give your man some space. Let him dwell on his life, let him think about what he wants. have patience and give him time.
If you can give the other person space to grow and turn your energy inward and make yourself a better person, then the relationship can certainly come back together quite successfully. For some people it takes four weeks. For others, even eight months to a year. But giving space and focusing on your life will bring a sense of control and emotional maturity when the flip side of the coin is you could feel life falling apart – which it isn’t. It is actually coming together beautifully.
Just consider the separation as another chapter in your life and ensure you stay in the driver’s seat of change. A separation can breathe fresh energy into your relationship and you may very well miss each other so much that the relationship comes back together and is far deeper and closer than you ever imagined. So don’t panic.
I am very experienced in helping heal emotional wounds caused by a break up and can successfully help you to become a better person and a better partner to your significant other. Let me help you create the miracle that you need in your life to bring you ultimate contentment.
Love and Light,