By Audrey: Many of us feel unheard, unappreciated and unloved in our personal and professional lives. Our day to day grind combined with not being able to express ourselves can make us feel stuck and unable to further our personal growth. This can be addressed by first looking at the bigger picture of our lives, the career environment is a breeding ground for silencing that inner voice that urges us to speak up and add our point of view to the group discussion.
When there is a group project or collaboration and you have tried to contribute to the brainstorming and creative undertakings in the past and felt shut down by one or more of your peers remember that this is not specifically personal, this needs to be circled back to when there’s a break in the flow of the meeting. Before circling back to the issue, first ask yourself “Did I interject in the middle of someone’s point?” and “Did they allow me to speak once they presented their contribution to the discussion?”.
Once you are sure there was a clear communication issue, try to identify If this is a frequent occurrence and is this always the same individuals. These questions can be observed in our personal lives as well. We so often have communication misunderstandings with our partners and resort to lashing out during a discussion asking these few questions can clear up a situation and help us resolve the conflict. While at your place of work however you may feel you’re not getting through to these individuals that is the time to start seeking support from the human resources department.
This is a great place to start, by opening up a professional dialogue to resolve this communication challenge. Addressing this issue according to the company’s guidelines will assure swift, serious resolvement action.
Feeling oppressed and like a non valued member of the team is not a healthy work environment you have to stay in, ending it as soon as it begins sets the tone for a productive as well as comfortable work environment. Setting you back on a path to success. Another way we lose our voice is we become too comfortable with shutting down our inner voice; it forms a toxic pattern.
This pattern of constant hushing of one’s inner voice can spill into our personal lives. When having a serious conversation with our partner it can get intense and often uncomfortable. If you find yourself wanting to end these discussions as quickly as they start by any means necessary, you are training your voice to stay silent. By identifying this pattern we can begin to reverse it. There is no situation in which your inner voice can never again be expressed. It can once again make an appearance, by putting that into our minds and setting positive intentions towards the rediscovering of one’s voice starts the energy for change. Finding your voice is all about balancing your emotional health, when you feel back into the conversation you feel self value again, this boosts your self esteem and confidence which in turn creates a positive self image that shines through you whenever you enter a room. Others will notice this new open and expressive you, they will seek your guidance and leadership in your personal life as well as in the workplace.
In your love life, your partner will come to respect you even more, value your input and begin to ask you for your point of view, this creates emotional intimacy, a key part in any successful love connection.
While finding your voice, it is crucial to remember you have so many things to contribute to the conversation. Your workplace hired you for a reason, to support their goals, you cannot do your job properly without your voice. Offering your input is why they extended you your current position. In your personal life, your partner is also choosing to be with you for a reason, they fell in love with your mind, your heart and all the wonderful things that can be created by them. When we love someone completely we never want them to be in pain, by not speaking our minds we create self inflicted emotional pain. This ultimately hurts us, this is not to be excused by our feelings of self protection, this is one way we justify losing our voice. By silencing ourselves we feel we are sparring others of possible discomfort, the facts here are this: by saying what’s on our mind with respect and kindness, this ultimately becomes a gift to others as well as ourselves. By using honesty, it creates a true contribution in the workplace and in your personal relationship life.
Honesty must be free of pride and past hang ups one might be carrying around, it is essential to let go to communicate your point clearly. Managing your expectations is another useful tool, these communication issues won’t be solved overnight. You can expect it to be a slow, sometimes even a taxing process on your emotions. You can expect to come to a compromise on a lot of issues as well. For example in your personal life you may need to delay marriage and the starting of a family if your partner is not feeling ready. When tackling these big issues you have to really listen to your partner, they have a reason for feeling these things, open your heart to this and respond with understanding and warmth. This rewards their openness with positive affirmation. Respond with truth, all great loves are built on truth.
Sharing your true thoughts and being open about where you are in life and where you want to be in say 5 years with your partner can seem scary, but will lead to a better understanding of what you need as well as what your partner needs in this connection. Finding your voice is about self empowerment, by expressing your thoughts you take a big step into your life story’s main role. This causes you to feel in control of your own emotions and what’s yet to come in your personal and professional life. Feeling heard is also a huge benefit of finding your voice, this will begin to bring those around you closer, really seeing similarities in others and their stories brings to light endless possibilities for friendship, love and forward momentum for positive change. When we aren’t feeling heard by our romantic partner and have tried to apply all of these techniques it’s time to seek outside help, a couples therapist is a great tool to improve communication and move on from the current rough patch you’re in with your partner.
Using the right questions combined with honesty, expectation management, and compromise you can find your voice and grab that lifeline in the sea of uncertainty you are temporarily floating in. Becoming the main character in your life, feeling empowered and also confident in your professional and personal life restores peace of mind. Once you’ve found your voice it can lead you on a path to joy and a life full of fulfilled dreams and no regret. Return to who you really are by finding your voice.
Love and Light,