By Ann: Despite all the depression and your feeling of worthlessness, I want you to know that you are not alone. We all have gone through this in our lives one way or another due to past hurts and put-downs. The saddest part is 90% of humans are depressed some through choice and others through medical reasons such as trauma that has affected them in their younger years.
You may not feel attractive or you feel that you have been rejected, unloved, not being able to find the right person to share your life with. Almost all negative emotion reactions inflict their damage only because of low self-esteem. A poor self-image, it is called personal defeat.
Let’s have a look at your life and what you would like to change as well as how you would go about this change is the most important thing you need to think this through so that you get a specific path to go down one road that is going to work for you. And how do you know what road to go down is simply the one that is the hardest to travel? Then it will become easier for you in the long run and you will change all the things in your life that is affecting you right now. Take baby steps and build your self- esteem, considering you have been in this dilemma for a while and depression.
Rejection can cause you to feel this way so you need to work out why you feel rejected in the first place and think back where this feeling first started from. And then you think why do I feel unloved you then need to ask yourself do I like receiving love.
There are things in dealing with your sense of worthlessness a rapid and decisive transformation in the way you think, feel and behave. You need to apply it daily. You need to commit yourself and take the time out for you. Attitude is an important role in building self – esteem once you get started you will see a new beginning and a period of personal growth and of course the feeling of self- worth.
The main thing in this life are as follows that effects your self-esteem
- Not knowing the outcome fear of the unknown.
- Put downs
As a child, these things could have happened to you and you dealt with it the only way you could. And then the emotions go into your adulthood and you start to think this way nothing can work for me or it could not work because I am hopeless and worthless. This is further from the truth you have created, this thought process and because of this you believe it you are what you think and you need to remember this anything can change and you can but with the right tools and the help that is needed to change your life around with your thoughts the mind is a powerful tool and you do not have to feel that there isn’t anything going right for me.
Well, let’s start with this on a 15 minute daily basis.
When you get a thought that says you are not going to get what you want. You say to your mind not out loud. “I am getting what I want”.
Then, if you get a thought that he or she thinks that you are no good you say in your mind this is only their opinion. They are not my words.
Example, if someone says you are a jerk then you say in your mind “come on now I am not a jerk”, so what you are doing is telling your mind the opposite to the way you think replacing a positive and overriding a negative thought you may even find yourself arguing with oneself.
Like if someone says you are a fool then you say to your mind “I am not a fool”, you counteract everything that your mind tells you that are negative.
Also, another way is to write down your negative thoughts and rational responses. You must be willing to change and put the time aside to change.
If you can look at life this way you can un-program yourselves to be who you are and who you want to be. You do not have to be stuck in a rut. You do not have to suffer rejection. You have the free will to change. You have the power within you to change anything and heal thy-self.
Also, it is good to monitor your negative thoughts to see how many you get and what one affects your day to day life. Write a journal on how negative thoughts have been affecting you all your life and how you have changed them to positive.
Through word and action, this means you think it you speak it and you feel it and this is where your Self- Esteem is affected by the way you think be aware of this. You say to yourself there is not anything in this life that I cannot do. I will change the things I can change and accept the things I cannot change. Ego plays a big part in your thoughts for example:
Have you ever thought that you can control something and it does not happen the way you want it to because you have not thought it through. The cause and effect this event would have on you and how this will affect your moods and your mindset can make you go into a depressed state, this is one example that you need to think about everything you eat and do affects the way you feel. Like comfort foods for depression this is the first thing we look for.
I am a behaviour therapist and I am more than happy to help you overcome anything but I have pointed out you must be willing to change.
Hugs and love,