What Is Love Bombing?

By Ann: Sounds good, but is it good and what is it? It is when someone excessively buys you gifts, gives you never ending compliments, always texting, invades your personal space with excessive attention claiming they are your soulmate.  

This is a form of emotional abuse to manipulate a person into loving them. Once they have you hooked, they back off because it is only the chase that fuels them, they start to show their Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde personality. They will blame you for any issues and try to make you feel guilty telling you how good they have been to you when you want time to yourself or try to set boundaries. They want your constant attention and make you feel you can’t survive without them. At first you are overwhelmed, caught up in a whirlwind romance, then slowly they withdraw but will blame you and confuse things.  

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They make you feel indebted to them emotionally and when they back off, they will use different excuses and slowly withdraw from you telling you they have other commitments and that it’s not you they have other issues to deal with. This leaves the other person bewildered because how can everything change so quickly, one minute you are their soul mate and next minute they need time to deal with other things and say they are doing this for you. They don’t know their own mind and want everything their own way. They are insecure and not the strong person they first portrayed. They are good at texting and phone calls, but face to face they can be a totally different person.  

If you ask them why, they will twist it around to you to make you feel that you are trying to make something out of nothing. This is called gaslighting when they provoke a situation, then blame the other person. If your gut instinct is telling you something is not right, then listen to yourself and slow down. If it is a genuine romance, they will last the distance and be there for you. If they start the emotional blackmail say, see you later and move on as this is an unhealthy relationship. They might try a tactic, saying you are too good for them or too smart for them and they are lucky to have you and you can do better. This is how they try to make you feel dependent and indebted to them.  

Love bombing someone can isolate them, which makes them more dependent on the abuser and control you. The relationship often ends abruptly, and they just disappear and ghost, you, usually because they have multiple victims. This behavior is very confusing and disorienting leaving victims with trust issues. There is no logic to this behavior, and it is a psychological game for power. The abuser is emotionally immature and does not know how to handle confrontation. It is more about winning a prize and who they can get than about the other person’s feelings and they get scared when they win the affection of someone. They will talk about having a serious relationship and pour their heart out about their life, childhood, abuse suffered, etc. After a while they change and become silent, making you feel it’s your fault, when in fact they are broken and have serious issues to deal with.  Love bombing can be traumatizing and make you feel gullible because love bombers are usually good at reading people and play on vulnerable people. They make you feel understood and loved and as if there is instant chemistry, but this is just a smoke screen. The victim may be left with feelings of shame, regret and worthlessness and you need to tell yourself that it isn’t your fault you did nothing wrong. This doesn’t take the pain and hurt away, but it’s a start to the healing process.

The best thing to do is to cut off all contact with the love bomber and stop the cycle and don’t let them back no matter how charming and convincing they seem. Learn from the experience and learn to read the signs and red flags and live in the real world not the fantasy one.

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Love and Light,

Ann

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Ann
Ease your mind. Certified psychic/life coach & healer.
Ann

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