By Ann: This describes when women act like mothers with their partners or people close to them. They like to be caregivers and are overprotective, pleasing everyone which stems from fear of abandonment and rejection. Doing everything for everyone in her family and always making excuses for any wrongdoing by her partner or children. They will put their own happiness to one side to make the other person feel happy.
They need to feel they are approved of and always useful. She feels she is saving them, and they can’t do without her. She may feel lonely and depressed if her efforts aren’t always wanted and can eventually feel exhausted from not making time for herself. It is a way of manipulating people to feel loved and accepted.
This behaviour can cause those around you to become demanding and always taking and not giving. It is not acceptable to forget about your own needs and happiness and it can create others to treat you selfishly. Love and relationships are about teamwork and being equals with each other having strengths and weaknesses, otherwise it can create an environment where you are taken for granted which you enabled. Grown men don’t need mothering, children do and are gradually taught to be responsible adults not emotional cripples. It is important to make decisions as a couple and to let children learn from their mistakes.
So, in fact a woman may be in a relationship with a Peter Pan because she can mother him, and he is forever looking for a mother figure. This is not a healthy relationship because she thinks he can’t survive without her, and this allows him to do what he wants. This type of woman is very insecure and controls the situation and does everything to avoid any rejection. Eventually, she may start to use guilt to get her own way to control her partner or children or use punishment such as spending money or withholding sex from her partner.
This may then lead to her having an affair where she feels she is receiving the affection she is missing. She doesn’t see she has a problem, but there is helping to lead a balanced life and realise you are not superwoman. Some sexist cultures encourage gender roles, and a man and woman are expected to behave in a certain way. There is nothing wrong with being the nurturer if it is not a burden and overwhelming. Each person in a family is important and needs to be appreciated and feel appreciated. Just like a human body needs a little toe to balance and not fall over and a head needs a neck to stay on, so each part is important and plays an important role and cannot function properly without each other.
Families are similar, each one needs the other to have a happy and healthy environment, but one isn’t better than the other. In the story of Peter Pan, he loved Wendy as a mother figure because she looks out for him, and she starts to have romantic feelings towards him and is infatuated with him in Neverland. Wendy realizes Peter Pan cannot really fulfill her desires because he can’t grow up. Wendy goes back home to live her life. Women with these Wendy traits prefer to stay in their marriage believing their mate cannot live without them. She looks after her mate and family to the point of being a martyr and if not, she will be a failure. She needs to remember love is giving and receiving, taking care of each other. The best win-win outcome is to feel happy about yourself and give off positive energy and you will receive this back.
Love and Light,