By Ann: Sexless relationships are not something for couples to aim for. Becoming sexually intimate is good for emotional bonding and great for your health and well-being. It burns calories, strengthens your immune system, has cardiovascular benefits, elevates your mood, and feels good.
Often, the lack of intimacy is the reason partners feel emotionally abandoned and lose interest or desire for sex leading to “inhibited sexual desire.” The fear of intimacy can cause partners to be emotionally unavailable and lead to an endless dance of pursuit and distancing.
If you are thinking about ending your marriage, you are likely facing one of the most difficult decisions of your adult life. Many partners struggle for an exceptionally long time before making a firm choice about whether to stay or go. If you are agonizing over the decision of whether or not to file for divorce, there are steps you can take in this process.
Areas of Your Life Negatively Impacted by Indecision
Consider these effects of being in a state of limbo:
Your health: Your health is also being compromised if you aren’t sleeping well, or if you’re not exercising and eating healthy foods.
Your job: Your job may be in jeopardy due to moodiness and lack of attention.
Do you find you are in a relationship and you feel you are living a single life?
And you are so lonely because you are waiting for things to change, do you find you compensate by talking to your friends then your partner. Or is it your partner does not communicate with you? So, you have many questions running through your mind and you try to find the answers.
Your other relationships: Your children, friends and other family members may feel your sadness, frustration, impatience, fear, anger, and indecision.
Primary Reasons People Stay
For many couples, the amount of time they have already invested in their marriages has a lot to do with their decision to stay or to go. It is generally easier for a younger married couple to divorce and start their lives over again than it is for partners who have been together a decade or more.
Are You Better Off Married or Divorced?
Only you know the answer to the question of whether you are better off staying married or getting a divorce. Sometimes marriage is worth saving and sometimes it is not. It is important to face the realities—and not just the fantasy—of divorce.
When making this type of a life-changing decision, recognize what you’ll lose and don’t count on what you may receive: If your main reason for wanting a divorce is because you’re unhappy, being single again may not make you happier.
When considering this question, here are a few things to ask yourself:
Do you feel as if you have nothing left to give to your marriage?
Do you feel indifference towards your partner?
Does your partner treat you badly or show indifference?
Has all the forgiveness, hope, and patience in your heart run out?
Has there been a long history of addiction, abuse, or infidelity?
Is there a complete lack of intimacy? Not just sex, but emotional intimacy, affection, and laughter as well?
If you have said yes to these questions, you may be at the point of no return in your marital relationship. Feeling indifference or becoming emotionally detached is a strong sign that your marriage is over.
The truth is what it is.
Love and Light,