By Asani: My client was in tears and spoke like a child as she recounted the day her husband packed his bags. He walked out the door on Mother’s day. She awoke to his belongings gone. No card, no text, he didn’t mention anything the night before. She told me that it felt like the last 5 years had only been 5 minutes. She felt just as bitter and heartbroken as the day when he left her.
I could empathize with her pain, as she had always thought that her husband would always be there for her.
A devastating split can cause lasting emotional trauma that can prevent you from creating a good life with someone else. It can also leave you paralyzed and unable to make new decisions.
When dealing with a break-up there are a few things to keep in mind:
1) If your relationship has ended, a part of you isn’t ready to move on. That is okay. Give yourself some time. If it’s been months or years, then it’s time to ask yourself: Is this relationship and your ex-partner the one you want? Especially when someone you love has hurt you in a cruel way. Please note they don’t have your best interest at heart. Try writing down the things they did to you that made you unhappy. Put the list away then reread it in a few days. If your loved one, a family member or best friend was treated this way, would you encourage them to return to their ex? Then it’s time to stop holding out for your ex, tell yourself to let go. Look in a mirror and say “Do you really want to be with someone who treats you so poorly?” You shouldn’t expect love or respect from a low vibrational person. You deserve better.
2) You’ll probably go crazy trying to figure out why your partner has left. This overthinking doesn’t serve you. Most of the time, you’ll never know the reason why they left, perhaps they themselves don’t know or they were cruel in order to justify leaving. Feeling guilty makes people act out in an inconsistent manner. If they can’t tell you the truth, then you should just put yourself first by taking a break from them. In time, you will come to realize taking a permanent break is better for you.
3) Please remember, your ex isn’t perfect, no one is. When we’re rejected we tend to internalize it and blame ourselves for the breakup. Self-blame is a part of the healing process. Right now you’re focused on your own faults and taking 100% of the blame. It takes two to build a relationship and takes two to tear it down. Remember your partner is responsible for 50 % of what happened between you two. Ignoring their flaws and focusing on all the good things in your past relationship, is killing you.
4) What now? Healing is possible. As hard as it is, feeling all the hurt, anger, sadness, sorrow, grief, rejection is a must. Pushing down your feelings is holding you back and keeping you stuck. Using Source to help you heal is a great way for recovery. Ask the Archangel Raphael to help. Here is a prayer you can say daily or as needed:
Dear Archangel Raphael, my heart is breaking. I feel a heartache I never felt before. I need your healing hand to release my heartache, fears and hurt feelings. I also ask that you surround me with your love and compassion. I humbly ask you to fill my heart with your love and heal me physically and emotionally.
You will get through this. Be well.
Love and Light,
Asani
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