When things are going well in our life, we seem to attract better people around us and when things aren’t going well, when we feel people are irritating and situations seem difficult and life seems frustrating, we tend to attract not so good people in our life.
Here are some tips to help you feel better about yourself and how to allow others to feel comfortable around you.
* Independence is very important for yourself and the other person and that is about being your authentic self.
* Ask yourself this, “Does this person add value to my life, and does this person make me feel good about myself?”
* Be the observer, instead of putting all your emotions and expectation into the beginning of a relationship.
* Seeking approval or trying to get the other person’s acceptant, then we are feeling less than, feeling insecure is just a recipe for disaster, then the relationship starts going on a downward spiral and it all becomes unhealthy.
* If a person is looking for a Prince Charming or Princess Perfect and/or waiting for someone who is going to get them out of an emotional rut and the other is going to fulfil there life needs, they is going to be sadly mistaken.
* Love and beauty radiates out of a person, so one needs to embrace that, because as soon as that light radiates out of a person, people attract that what is reflected in them. Others pick up on this and they don’t know what it is, but this type of person lights up the room and people want to get to know them.
* Biggest mistake for wanting a long term loving relationship
Being to needy – A need that’s not being meet inside of one self, so you look
externally for that need to be met, instead of internally. “ I wish he/she would tell me what I need to hear.”
Most women are taking care of everyone else and not taking care of themselves. Stop wanting to change the other person, that’s who they are and if you don’t like
parts of them accept it or find someone that fulfils what you want.
* If he/she is over an hour late from picking you up and then he decides to call you, send the message to voice mail. That is not a good time to talk to him/her as you will be feeling heated and stressed and emotionally charged. There could be many reasons this type of things happen, he/she is not rejecting you, the person just may not live life by a clock or something else could have happened, so wait until you are in a better emotional place then call. Use voice mail as your best friend. Keep your power and make other plans and have a good time. Call the next day and say, “I didn’t call you back right away as I made other plans.” It’s not playing games it’s recognising your boundaries and keeping your power and you can choose what you want to share and when you want to share.
* Do not manipulate or play games, this will always work against you in the end.
* Never loose sight of your personal values. Write them down and know that is your boundaries and that is what you want.
* Write down all the reasons why a relationship will enhance your life.
* When you are not in a relationship, what goals do you have for you? Instead of going through the emotions, chunk your life down into daily steps.
Be intentional, what do you want to do that day? Pack a lunch, go to the park, or make a
time to meet up with a friend or friends after work. Have that bath with soft music and candles just for you. Go to a movie or a for walk.
* Be thankful for everything in your life that you have right now! What we thank about comes about. When we are thankful for things in our life, it is automatic, we attract more.
* A Soul Mate is anyone that you are growing with or learning from. A Soul Mate is not necessarily a life time partner. A Soul Mate can be the one that has given you a terrible time so you wake up and start to empowering yourself. These Soul Mates are our hardest but greatest teachers.
First and foremost you need to love the relationship you have with yourself.
The power is in you, it is your intention that you are going out to find Mr of Miss Right. Have purpose, focus and definition. “What really suits me? What really fulfils me?”
Quick instant gratification is Ego fulfilment, the Ego intention, i.e; “I want someone to be affectionate toward me,” There is nothing wrong with that, but get out of wanting to control things that you can’t, because the intention to get things from other people are Ego driven, when many people don’t even give that to themselves.
Be fun, have a good time, if you see a guy/girl that you feel is showing and interest go over and have a chat. Say something nice maybe about how you like their shirt or dress etc. Bring everything up and light hearted. Both people appreciate that, have fun, talk to people and be yourself and have a nice time. When you are having fun, making light jokes and laughing, on an unconscious level
this is very comforting, and the other person then just knows that you feel good about yourself and you have good self-esteem. Girl’s, guys like mystery, they don’t want you to feel you are picking them up. The reality is, you can just walk away after having a great chat and fun, and sometimes the other person will look for you and want to chat with you, if they feel that they want to get to know more about you.
Make it light!
If you are okay with your authentic self, others will feel and sense that and will want to be around you.