Looking For Love In All The Wrong Places

By Victoria: Frequently, I’m asked to provide intuitive insights into the love lives of my clients. Usually, the clients ask, “will they come back?”, or “why did it end?”, or “are they the one?”, or “when will I meet my soul mate?”. If you want to improve your love life, start by asking the better questions.

You love life is all about YOU! That’s where your attractive power resides! When you make it about the other person; waiting for them to decide to come back, or whether to have a relationship with you, you are giving away all the power to control your love life. It’s as if you’re waiting for someone else to decide what is right for you, to provide your happiness. That passive approach to life carries an energy that felt by others, even before you speak to them. It sends out a vibrational message that your happiness and fulfillment depends on them.

1victoria2 That approach can be a turn-on, for people that need to feel in control or that they want to rescue another from their pain. Those are unhealthy reasons for starting a relationship. Those dynamics set up an imbalance in the relationship from the start that almost always becomes dissatisfying. That imbalance often only builds over time until both parties agree it isn’t working and the relationship ends. When this happens both people walk away looking at the details as the cause rather than the original nature in which the relationship formed.

Looking for someone else to complete you or make you happy can also be a turn-off. While clients will often identify their ‘ideal partner’ as strong, independent, honest, self-reliant, emotionally balanced, loving, supportive, etc., they often do not express those qualities. They approach a relationship as a means to resolve their unhappiness with previous relationships or with life itself. A prospective interest doesn’t necessarily want to take on the responsibility of solving another’s challenges in life. Most people are just trying their best to manage their own life and responsibilities.

So how do you make changes? It starts with understanding the basics of living as an energetic person in an energetic world. That’s basic science. If you understand that you are energy first in physical form, then you have to know that the laws of energy as stated by scientific testing affect you as they affect all other things in the Universe. If the principle exists, it applies to all like things. Energy is energy. You are energy.

Science tells us that energy has a vibration. Frequency is the rate at which a vibration occurs that constitutes a wave, either in a material (as in sound waves), or in an electromagnetic field (as in radio waves and light), usually measured per second. Therefore, we are sending out vibrational waves as we walk the path of our lives. These waves are our thoughts, feelings, behaviors, ideas, history of our lives. These waves move out from us at the center.

We know from the science of sound studies that resonance is the matching up of like frequencies/vibrations. These studies show us that we come into resonance / line up with those matching our frequency. You draw to you those who are a vibrational match to your frequency. That is a basic tenet of being an energetic being. If you’re unhappy and unfulfilled, then you’ll draw those types to you. If you’re controlling or like to be controlled you will attract those types of people. If you feel strong, empowered, independent and open, then those will be the people that cross your path. Too often people don’t understand this fundamental aspect of relationships. Instead, they decide they think they know what they want and they set about to get it and only it. Sometimes the idea is that you will settle because you haven’t found what you’re looking for and the ticktock of life is clanging loudly. You agree to live with the limitations presented to you as if that is your only choice. Often in these situations, one ends up trying to change the partner to be more of what you wanted before you settled. This is not a good start to a relationship.

Entrainment tells us that vibration adjusts to the strongest frequency in the close proximity of nearly matching vibrations. Meaning we are easily affected by the energy of others in our proximity, just as our energy affects others as well. This understanding changes how you perceive your journey in this life and how you can have greater control over these elements simply by making a choice.

You must be what you want to attract. It’s not about the other person and what they’ll do. It’s about how you use your natural energy and thoughts to hold the frequency of that which you want to attract. When you choose to focus on the energy you carry and what you want, then you are exercising your power to create and draw to you the ideal person best suited to join you on your journey.

Better questions to ask, might include, “why did I attract this person”, “what can I expect from this relationship?”, “what lesson do I need to learn here?”, “why can’t I find the right partner?”. When you make the question about you, then you are claiming your power to create the life you want complete with unlimited happiness and the love partner that help you to grow, be more and live an inspired life… and always walk your journey in love.

Love and Light,


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