By Counselor Karen: So many people are seeking the perfect mate in this day and age, but the problem is what is perfect for them is not what they are ending up with. Loneliness is epidemic right now and men and women alike are ending up with the first person that shows them just a little bit of attention. The problem with that is they end up settling. When love should not be less than feeling you both are getting the best end of the deal. This false sense of security they end up with ends up messing with their own happiness and their own view of themselves.
I am a strong believer after having a second chance at love that finding the right person is worth the wait. There is nothing like meeting that one person that gets you so well and wants to move mountains to keep you. Quite honestly, no one should settle for less than that.
The problem with relationships today is that people are jumping straight to intimacy before really finding out what the other person is all about. Sharing that intimacy is taking away from the reality of what is really there. Besides that sharing that when you are not meant to be together takes away from you both later when the right one does come along.
The need for love was built into us from the day we were born. To understand why it is so important to be with the right person is to understand the purpose you were created in the first place. The wrong person can push you off track in your lives and cause you to make decisions that normally you would not. But on the other hand the right person can encourage you on your path to follow your dreams and desires and stand next to you as a partner to excel together.
I am a strong believer in making lists of pros and cons, especially about people you meet. The pros should always outweigh the cons for you to proceed in any relationship with another person. Personality compatibility is also so important. While opposites may attract later they can end up driving each other crazy. Here is a list I feel can help you decide if you are with the right person and anything less is settling.
• They have your best interests at heart. They are not trying to change you into something you are not.
• They fit well into the life you have created for yourself. You fit well into theirs as well.
• They don’t make excuses not to see you or only make time when they are available.
• They are equally yoked (same faith, religion, etc.) Hard to combine two different beliefs or to make someone believes what you do.
• Your goals about the future go hand in hand. Neither has to compromise to be together. Compromise can lead to someone being bitter later on.
• The relationship is not just physical. YOU actually date one another and make time to go out and do new things.
• They are excited to show you off.
• They respect you.
• They encourage you.
• They do things for you that show you that you are special and vice versa.
• And most important, they acknowledge you are a couple and not make excuses about what the relationship is.
Opportunities are endless when it comes to love. Maybe it’s taken a long time to find someone special, but just know that God has a plan that is much better than yours. Trust that when you are fully ready that love of your life will drop in your life when you least expect it. If you are finding you are looking so hard, then take that as an answer that you are not ready yet. Be positive about the New Year and 2018 will be amazing just like you!
Love and Light,