Long Distance Relationships

By Ann: How do you make it work? That is the question. Some people like the distance because it keeps them safe. Some like not being completely available or even the other person not completely available.

It seems great at first and they like the thrill and like being in love with the thought of it. A long-distance relationship can build communication and trust before a physical relationship starts. It is very easy to lead each other on and not be completely truthful and honest and this can crash and burn if effort is not put into each other. Sometimes two people have been together but, because of circumstances they are kept apart. Others may meet online or through friends and pursue a long-distance friendship which can develop over time with feelings involved. Each person needs to be up front and honest and remember hearts and feelings are involved.


To make it work you need to take an interest and make time for each other to text, talk on the phone, facetime, or meet up. Once you establish you both have feelings and are interested in each other try to keep communication open by having fun conversations and listening to each other. When you care about someone these things shouldn’t be hard to do. Be honest and if the other person is busy don’t immediately take offence. When romantic talk starts an intimacy begins which is very important. If disinterest becomes regular without any explanation this becomes confusing.

You should make each other a priority to make it work and by saying that you miss each other is not weak it shows you care. One-word texts are cold and unfeeling and show a disinterest. Be on the same level by expressing that you want to be exclusive or have an open relationship. This establishes if you want the same things and be honest don’t lead each other on. If you want different things this gives each other the opportunity to say what they want and don’t sell yourself short. Having goals together will keep you close to each other. You don’t want to burden each other and create guilty feelings but try to be there and make time for each other.

If excuses keep popping up like they are too tired or busy all the time and you feel this is happening continually, maybe this is a warning sign. If the other person never answers your calls or texts and you feel you are being avoided and ignored, this is not normal in a healthy honest relationship. This could mean they have lost interest and don’t know how to tell you and it is a very immature way to treat another person. It is disrespectful and grown adults should not act this way. If there is a problem or things are moving too quickly let the other person know. If they can’t accept this at least you have been honest and if they care they will respect your wishes. If you still want them in your life, tell them, but you can’t expect them to wait forever. Don’t take the easy way out and wait for things to fizzle out, let them know up front.

A good relationship is about being there for each other and showing you care. You can’t be there 24/7 or even daily, but every few days shouldn’t be unreasonable with today’s technology. If you can’t always talk for long a mature person will understand this. Sometimes just a quick text is sufficient, but constant excuses create suspicions with even the most patient person. So don’t start something serious if you are not prepared to go the distance. Learn to speak up and say if you want to take things slowly and you might be surprised that if the other person thinks you are worth it, they will want to as well.

If all else fails and you are at a dead end and a brick wall you may have to face reality as heartbreaking as this may be. Having a counselor to talk to can be very helpful because your life goes on and one person doesn’t decide your happiness and future course in life and it’s their loss.


Love and Light,


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Ease your mind. Certified psychic/life coach & healer.

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