By Gertrude: Going through a break-up is never easy. There are so many emotions as well as things we experience we never expected. For the most part, we do brace ourselves for the heartache. We know that it’s going to be difficult. If you are going through a breakdown of a significant relationship then this is an important time. It isn’t always what has happened that matters. But without fail every single time it is very important in how we handle it.
While we know that we will be emotional, we will cry and long for the other person. Sometimes it is the emptiness that affects us in ways we didn’t think possible. What happens is that we might find that the relationship has become our focus. So that when it is over, it exposes to us how much thought time and effort we have put into the person and the future.
It dawns on us that our ex-partner was able to walk away. In turn, we find it difficult to comprehend that while there was love in the relationship, the other person was able to simply switch off and move on. It is difficult to understand how they could have done that. This is where we begin to become confused. Searching for answers. Perhaps blaming ourselves.
One of the worst feelings for us is to miss someone. To no longer be able to share our thoughts. To reach out to someone we love. This is a perfectly normal stage of a relationship that has ended. While this feels like the worst time in your life. It is filled to the brim with opportunities.
Now it might be that you could not have tried any harder in the relationship and that you in terms of nurturing this had nothing left to give. Yet you are reflecting on what went wrong. What you could have done or said or how you could have acted differently. However, a relationship is a two-way street and the problem is that for some time it was really only a one-way street.
Where you found yourself giving for both of you. We all do this to some extent and for now, you have some important tasks ahead of you. Where you are now is actually your meantime. This isn’t a time to give yourself a hard time. It is important to be realistic. We can actually put too much into a relationship. This can tip it over the balance for many reasons.
One of the reasons is that the other person has become lazy. Because you have been doing all the hard work, they have sat back and simply received. This can make the other person feel safe and secure and for some, it boosts the ego. They begin to feel entitled.
Because they really aren’t contributing to the relationship, they sometimes become unmotivated. If someone goes and picks grapes for you every day and hand feeds you. Pretty soon you will become used to it. Then you will expect that person to do that. When that happens, you then begin to look at how many other people out there are willing to pick and feed you grapes. So you see how this works.
You have to create a two way street. It is not only good for you it is good for the other person and good for the chance of a long term relationship.
You really have entered the most inspiring and self-serving time. Right now if your ex is evolving,looking for inner happiness, then you owe it to yourself to do the same for you. You have taught them to expect the best. So now you need to know that you can expect the best, but from your own behavior.
Take this time to learn to enjoy your own company. Take this time to think in the here and now. Not in the past. What you could have or should have done. Don’t waste time wondering why this has happened.
You ask yourself what they are thinking about. What are they doing? When the real question should be action. Where you do for yourself and you change your way of thinking. One of the reasons we begin to feel lonely and get into overthinking is that we are still not honoring and respecting our own needs.
What is most important right now is what you are thinking and doing. Keep you as your first thought and priority and make it about you for once, instead of the other person. Of course, it is wise to spend time evaluating. This is more for acceptance so that you can move forward and learn how to attract a situation where the relationship is equal and you are valued.
Invest in yourself. Evolve and grow. Because to stay and repeat is not in your interests. No one or relationship is perfect. That is not what we are aiming for. Once you understand you, once you understand that you have control over the way you are treated in a relationship and especially once you put that into practice. You will draw the right person into your life.
Love and Light,
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