By Ann: We all worry if the relationship will last and if this is long term, well, really it is up to you if you want this or not. You see this is not a one-way street, he has needs as much as you do and when you keep the spark alive then this is what happens when you grow old together. Often it can happen where one partner dies before the other, and in most circumstances like this, the one that is left behind lives alone.
But for the people that find another partner after their loss they have trouble giving themselves completely out of feeling guilty, because they have moved on even though their wife or husband has passed. If you are one of these people that is with someone that has been a widow it can be extremely hard for you.
To try to understand the emotions attached to the loss of the someone you thought you were going to grow old with and who is your soulmate. Unless you have been a widow yourself it is hard to grasp. You need to be patient and understanding and not feel the deceased husband or wife is a threat to you. There is no need to get jealous if you see pictures of them up together, these are just memories. It does not mean you cannot grow old and be together because your partner has been widowed just to give them time to allow for new memories as well.
You will see in time they will give of themselves and you will Have a happy loving relationship. Growing old together is accepting everything about the person for who they are and loving their faults. Now that is not easy,
Expectations can be the main thing that would cause disruption in a relationship, this will then lead to arguments and heart ache and sorrow and then sadly to say separation. As much as you want your partner to leave in an argument. You miss them and want them back and then it happens all again months down the track.
You can avoid all of this by putting yourself in your partner’s shoes and wonder how she or he would feel if you put demands and expectations on them. No one likes being told what to do. We all like to be asked nicely. So, the moral to the story is this, if you want to grow old with your partner for however long this is. Love unconditionally. Do not look at faults and make them feel special as if this were the first day you met your partner and what you fell in love with.
My parents were married 58 years. My mum was sixteen when she met my dad. They grew old together. They have both passed now, memories live on. Look at history and all the love stories that have been documented through the decades. Growing old is a beautiful thing; it is an experience you cannot go back from. I am a strong believer love always wins in the end.
Hugs, Love and Light,