It was destined. Meant to be. You decided you were soul mates, twin flames, everything. He had a nice car, a good job, no dirt under his fingernails and his mother adored you. You rented a place, bought an iguana, and planned a vacation for the following year. All that was left to do was sit tight, and wait for the rock.
So. What went wrong?
Sometimes relationships which seem perfect break down. I speak to many people who are having trouble accepting that a relationship is over. It’s a bitter pill to swallow, because what we tend to do is blame ourselves when relationships deteriorate. We ask questions like, “Why me? Why was I so easy to cast aside?” or, “What could I have done to prevent this?”
Some begin single life feeling angry and resentful, then there are the hopeless romantics and randy rebounders who, despite their pain, rush into new relationships without giving their wounds time to heal.
The word ‘closure’ is a big word in our love culture, but how can you really achieve it? Is closure your ex’s responsibility, the universe’s responsibility? Or, is it something which you can cultivate within yourself? Why wait for it? And, what if it never comes anyway? What can you do?
The answer is simple. You can find real closure by replacing the need for it with something far more powerful – ACCEPTANCE. By choosing to accept the things you can’t change, you can begin to heal and lay stronger foundations for your future. Assign no blame to either you or your ex. If you still feel resentment, guilt or anger, there’s an effective remedy for this, too – FORGIVENESS. Forgive your ex. If you did wrong, forgive yourself. You are both beautiful, divine creations, but you are not infallible. You are human beings, and naturally you will make mistakes.
Life happens because you make choices. When you empower yourself by making the choice to accept the past and forgive yourself, your ex, his mother, the iguana, you instantly begin to heal. The compassion that forgiveness and acceptance generate from your heart chakra heals emotional wounds. Let go of fears, worries and doubts rooted deep in the past, because they only serve to hold you back.
When you merge with someone romantically, certain chakras connect in the most intimate way. However, when a relationship ends and both parties go their separate ways, sometimes the connections we make through the energy field, or aura, are not broken. This can result in obsessive thoughts and feelings about an ex, and an inability to contemplate any future happiness without them.
Ironically, this obsession only serves to weaken the individual, and many end up miserable because they can’t seem to let go. Relationships end for all kinds of reasons, and also for one overall reason – you were no longer compatible. That’s it. The changes which occurred made it impossible for you to continue, and that’s ok. Single isn’t a dirty word. In fact, choosing to remain single can be one of the most empowering things you can do for yourself. I always advise some time spent alone to recoup after a relationship ends.
It’s too easy to attach expectations to a partner or relationship. Expectations are often unmet, which leads to feelings of resentment and frustration. Be careful when attaching labels like ‘soul mate’ or ‘twin flame’ to your partner. It sounds cool, but it can potentially make it harder for you to move on if the relationship breaks down. It can be difficult to accept that a ‘twin flame’ left to be with someone else. Would a genuine twin flame wouldn’t behave in such a way? Probably not! If you think your partner is your soul mate or twin flame, why not have one of our Lifereaders confirm it for you? We have readers who specialise in this type of rare and special connection.
The terms ‘soul mate’ and ‘twin flame’ get thrown around a lot these days. Maybe people think a label like this adds value to their relationship. I think it just makes it harder to let go once you’ve instilled this belief, and attached the expectation that you’ll be together forever, no matter what. I’ve spoken to people years after their break-ups, yet their exes are still so alive in their energy fields that they can’t possibly see a future without them. These people waste years yearning, because they are unable to accept that the relationship has ended. Unrequited love is painful, and usually becomes obsessive. An obsession consumes you, and doesn’t allow any room in your life for growth.
Acceptance and forgiveness can weaken these leftover energetic links, eventually severing them completely. Feelings of loneliness and rejection are then mere perceptions, and they only remain relevant for as long as a person is convinced that their contentment depends on the love of just one person.
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