By Gertrude: Online dating and chatting can be confusing and it often leads to miscommunication. In the last few years, dating sites and applications have become more popular and there is less stigma looking for love online. We are bombarded with ads that tell us that if you join their site there are relationships being formed every fourteen minutes. We are shown examples of loving couples who have found each other through the site. It is all very slick and convincing.
But how many of those couples last or really go on to have a meaningful relationship. Well, according to my stats as a professional psychic, not many. This is fraught with all kinds of problems and dramas from people using the sites to hook up with as many people as possible. To those who think they are looking for love but have unrealistic expectations or don’t realize they aren’t ready or need to learn a bit more about themselves and make changes in order to make a relationship work.
The biggest problem with these sites is that we are essentially looking for love, when we look for love nine times out of ten we are going to get lost. We are also for the most part, going on looks, attraction, appearance. All the things that don’t matter. We are losing the essence of the soul. Then we have the liars the cheaters and the letharious to negotiate. So it really is a minefield and the chances of actually finding someone who wants the same as you, aren’t as high as we would like to think.
Here are some tips on how to avoid time wasters and meantime relationships when using dating sites:
1. The number one priority is to have realistic expectations. This is where we are really honest with ourselves, what we have to offer in a relationship and what we are truly looking for. Life isn’t a Hollywood movie, where the girl gets her guy. For the most part, those of us who use dating sites, have been hurt in the past. We do carry baggage. So be aware that everyone has their problems from past relationships. Know that this is actually going to be harder than if you were introduced to someone face to face.
2. Communication and being honest with yourself, your profile and being open about what it is you want. It’s not much use saying you love romantic walks along the beach when you haven’t done it for years. Be open about what your real interests are. You can only do this for yourself not others. Not everyone is honest, either with themselves or how they want to present themselves. The answer to this problem is communication.
3. Don’t allow yourself to think that because you get the ‘feels’ online doesn’t equate to the same or it being reciprocated in real life. Quite often we can get caught up in the connections we make by what is essentially old fashioned letter writing, in today’s quick form of texting and messaging. Yes, it is exciting to connect with someone new, someone who is saying all the right things. The reality is that an old fashioned face to face connection, doesn’t allow you to say wow babe, LOL. Then you wander off, make yourself a bite to eat, then come back to the conversation as if you had never left it. Be excited, be optimistic, but be in control of your emotions and the reality of the situation.
4. Unless you want to be in a long distance relationship, then don’t encourage it. If someone lives too far away, they live too far away. If they get online because they are too busy, with work life, whatever. Then they are too busy to put the time in that is needed to develop a happy and healthy relationship. If they have been hurt in the past and ask for time due to trust issues, give them that time. They simply aren’t ready and are practicing on you and anyone else who they are attracted to, or who is attracted to them.
5. Yes, you can find love on a dating site, but it is more complicated and actually more difficult than if you had met them randomly through the daily motions of your life. It is always important to put safety first and establish a rapport with the person you are attracted to. Once that has been established and you are ready to meet, don’t allow things to linger. Often people don’t meet up, simply because they didn’t realize how busy they are, how little free time they have. But, don’t use that as an excuse. If someone doesn’t have time to meet with you, they certainly don’t have time for a relationship.
If you are in an online or a distance relationship and would like me to look at your personal and unique situation, I would love to do a reading for you. I will look for reasons why someone has blocked you, or if they don’t seem to be moving forward.
Love and Light,