5 Reasons Why You Can’t Get Over Your Ex

By Gertrude: As a psychic medium, I often have clients with this dilemma. You simply don’t seem to be able to get over your ex. You constantly see, hear or feel signs from the Universe. Reminding you and it hurts, much like a torture. Every person I have ever read for has a different excuse, set of circumstance as well their own unique set of circumstances and understanding. However, there are some common, easy to understand the causes or reasons you are going through this.

1. You still love them.

1gertrude2 Firstly, you have been deeply hurt. Often you are left still very much in love and the other person has walked away. It takes courage to get through it. But because it all feels unresolved and you have no clear answers. You are now in the catch 22 of learning how to stop loving them.

We all heal in our own time. Sometimes, it seems we simply can’t stop thinking about it. So we are locked into a grid of overthinking. Asking our self.. if only… Your thoughts nurture your soul. They create your perspective. Understand sometimes we have met at the wrong time.

2. Abandonment

Fears of abandonment have several causes. One is trauma in the past, sometimes from childhood. A past event or relationship. Well, you have been abandoned, and so it’s perfectly okay to own that. It’s an important step in healing.

Nothing will stop your heart from aching. Then there comes a time when we are grieving, that we accept that for now. This wasn’t meant to be. This too shall pass. It’s up to you now to understand, that no matter what the excuse for the relationship to end. It’s no excuse to end the relationship you have with yourself. Reconnect with you.

3. You Know they’re your twin flame.

And they most probably are your ‘twin flame’. We forget, that despite being twins, we each have a separate soul, identity and emotional intelligence. Each of our souls has its own path. Our own unique journey. Just know that sometimes the twin is simply not connected. Or doesn’t have the same knowledge or identify as you do.

They are especially the ones we let go with love. But never at your own expense. As it’s important to seek out your own self-interests and meaningful connections. To interact with like-minded people, activities and adventures. Sharing your journey with those who walk towards you, not away. You are strong. Much stronger than you think.

4. Fear of being alone.

Here is the thing, you most likely have put body mind soul and spirit into this past relationship. You have lost your friend, your lover, the person you were making long-term plans with. And now you don’t have their friendship. It’s a huge loss and you will feel lonely.

Feelings or fears of being alone are the sparks that create the joy of loving your own company. Once you can achieve that. You will never be lonely. So this is the time to nurture yourself. Plant your own garden. Tend the seeds of your ideas. Because now you are free to achieve them.

5. Insecurity

Of course you’re going to feel insecure. You’ve just found out that you were wrong about that person. Yes, you’re going to doubt yourself. It’s all part of the growth process we are specifically here to do.

Now is the time to take a massive gamble. On yourself. It’s not your fault. You tried your best. It’s not you who weren’t good enough. It’s just that the other person hasn’t grown enough to come to a place of true emotional understanding. To fundamentally give and receive. The good news is that you have. So you can put all of your lessons into practice. You will get through this. One step at a time.


All the best,


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Specialize in love, relationships, soulmate identification and problem-solving, jobs, career and business questions