By Isabella: Looking for love? Great! There are basics to forming long-lasting, passionate relationships which many overlook in our “instant gratification” society. Building love is an art form and one worth procuring. The key is to relax and know that the person that you are intended to be with will find you and nothing will be able to separate you two. When it is divine and meant to be, it happens effortlessly.
It’s also good idea to look in all the places where quality love is found starting within your own heart. If you are afraid of love, love will run away from you. If you are still in love with someone else, you will not find a new lasting relationship. Love is tangible energy and must be freed in order to attract even more. When you harbor love for a long lost mate, you are basically still in that relationship. Letting go of the past and your previous relationship is the definitive way to attract new love.
Search your area for singles groups and outings such as singles cruises and dances. You would be surprised at how many professionals are now seeking love within group outings. There is safety in numbers and you are not obligated to interact with anyone so it is a more relaxed atmosphere to connect. You would be surprised at how many people meet the love of their life in casual ways like in the grocery store, book store or through mutual friends.
When you finally meet someone you are interested in, it’s best to move slowly. Moving too fast not only sends out messages like, neediness, clingy, desperate, dysfunctional, craves marriage, controlling, possessive and other ick most people are NOT attracted to, but by moving too fast you lose a lot of the romance and ambiance. The smallest gestures are those which remain memories decades later. Romance begins with courting and courting is a beautiful way to discover if you are truly compatible or if is just physical chemistry which has brought you together.
Holding hands, that first kiss, that soft touch on your cheek, all those are the foundation of building on love and those beautiful meaningful moments are the glue for a future with someone. Respect is highly underrated. In studies on romance and marriage, both men and women were asked if they respected a person who they were able to sleep with at the beginning of the relationship and the results were startling. 79% of all participants said they would only have sex on the first date if they were not interested in that person or just wanted a casual fling. 88% said they would never have sex on the first date if they were truly interested in a relationship with that person. Moving too fast sexually is not only dangerous, (STD’s, stranger danger, etc.) but both parties are often left wondering if this is normal for the other person to shag everyone they meet? The trust is at best reduced and that is not a good foundation to build on.
Like-mindedness factor in to. Getting involved with anyone who has polar opposite views on everything from politics to child rearing is a lot to overcome when relationships already have their own challenges. Opposites may attract but rarely do they last as a couple. Being spiritually awake and centered is another way to build a beautiful bond because there is something greater between you, a shared philosophy can carry you a long way especially if you are passionate about it. Mating with someone who is interested in others, animals, the environment, mediation, yoga, volunteering, travel, art, music, assures growth and growing is essential to forming a lasting bond. Make it sacred, make it count, let every action be tuned to building a life together. Remember to cherish love when you have it.
Red flags: SEE THEM with OPEN EYES then gauge whether you can navigate those unsavory bits in your new potential partner. Too many people dismiss red flags until they are emotionally committed then often find themselves wounded and walking away when the signs showed them up front what they were dealing with. Pay attention and learn the art of discernment. If a man tells you that he cheated or once hit a woman, walk away, those are character flaws which rarely if ever change. If a woman tells you that she has a glass of wine to “relax” every day, you may want to investigate to see if she is an addict. Red flags are warnings that this is probably NOT the right relationship but you have to determine that. Everyone has some form of baggage or damage; it is up to you to determine if you are prepared to deal with the bits you cannot fix in another.
Love is a selective teacher and seeks those who are open to experience its’ radiance and full bodied bounty. Being a good receiver of such a gift is essential to creating lasting, healthy, romantic, mutually beneficial love. You don’t have to be psychic to find the right mate but you do need to be wise and discerning and cherish the value of what you seek, for what you seek is seeking you too.
Here’s to a LOVE in all its beauty. “Wishing you the love of your life and the life of your love.”
Happy Valentines Day!
Blessings and beams,
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