By Audrey: In nature, we find many examples of the dance of romance like the male peacock with his plumes of color entices the female with a fantastic dance of romance. The human race is no different, but perhaps with more intricate moves such as kindness, compassion and of course respect. I have to say the dance steps involve both partners. Many times it can seem like the dance is work, and this is true, but the rewards are more wonderful than any fleeting day dream or fantasy.
A life full of love is a happy and successful life, but like any endeavor, it takes planning and plenty of positivity. It’s one thing to be romanced and swept off your feet while first dating, it’s another thing keeping that spark alive. Continuing this romance in a more evolved way can be very simple, such as a surprise birthday getaway or flowers on a Tuesday just to say “You’re fantastic and I love you!”. This is excellent if you are in a long term commitment and need to shake things up. I’m sure you’re asking yourself “How do I encourage this behavior from my partner?”. Sometimes we must put ourselves out there, completely exposed emotionally, be brave, express your needs, and be direct but also calm.
With a conversation about your relationship and what the future holds for you both in that area, this will show your partner, you’re in it to win it and expect them to put in the work as well. Laughter is a great tool If you’re in a romance lull and aren’t feeling that spark as much as you used to, I would put this into action as soon as now! Discuss a funny memory you share tell a corny joke to your partner this lightens the mood and creates intimacy as well as a release of happy chemicals in the brain also known as endorphins. Getting that butterflies in your stomach feeling back when your love walks into a room can only benefit your connection and creating intimacy and laughter can bring that spark right back.
Now I’ll paint a different picture for you, say your in a different state of romance and you are interested in someone you aren’t already dating, go out on a limb and see if they are available, it’s very simple ask them in a casual way if they are interested, it’s ok if your nervous and shaky what matters is your straightforward and honest, this is the first step onto the dance floor. If this results in a “No, Thank you. I’m not interested” reaction, you now know to move on to someone else who is interested and available, rejection is not failure, it’s knowledge and the more you know the more you grow and the better you feel moving forward in love. Now if your newly dating someone and it’s going very well, but your aren’t feeling completely reciprocated emotionally, I suggest a casual day date in a public place where it’s quiet and you’re able to ask how the other person is feeling then once you’ve started an open line of conversation you can really get down to those answers you’ve been craving. Clarity is key here, but within reason, constant checking in with your partner isn’t necessary once you’ve both agreed on a plan for your lives together, there has to be trust. It can feel very scary but trusting your partner is also a vital part of a successful union.
Let’s talk about respect for a minute, there can be no love without respect. If you’re putting all the work into the romance and receiving nothing in return that’s a form of disrespect and a serious talk about the relationship and the future is needed in this situation. Now if you’re experiencing a form of ghosting or very little communication from the person you are seeing this is a serious warning sign, if the line of communication is dissolved, there is no respect and therefore no resolving any issues at this time it’s best to focus on yourself and try to move on even without closure, this person isn’t ready for love in the same way your are and should get out of the way so new love can come your way and bring with it fulfillment and joy.
We find ourselves in a unique time in society, where many people meet on dating apps, this can be really stressful and sometimes very awkward. Your best move here is to be yourself, if you’re not feeling this person that’s okay, kindly thank them for meeting you and wish them a good day, no pressure and then move on. If they are rude and disrespectful all this means is they are not a good fit romantically and the right person is out there for you now, you will find them, often when you least expect it.
As far as a timeline, we live in a time where you can adopt and have a family later in life and still experience a full and happy home, even when you’re over 40. A beautiful love is possible, whether you’re seeing someone at the moment or not makes no difference. Remember respect, kindness, laughter and honesty are a few key steps in the dance of romance.
Love and Light,