By Sarah: The buzzword for any difficult person we are in a relationship with nowadays is —- narcissist. However, this word is used way too often and indeed some of our reactory behavior towards a narc could even be called narcissistic, so we really do need to check ourselves before pointing fingers.
However, the difference between your REACTIVE behavior caused by your relationship with a narc happens only now and then. A true narcissist has patterns of behavior that when all put together – show a very injured and insecure soul.
So what is a narcissist? A true narcissist is someone who has no idea of self. The only way they know who they are is from outside validation. They need the approval and admiration of others to feel good about themselves. They are manipulative and they lie to make themselves look better than they are – and when you catch them out on their lie, they will use every trick in the book to avoid taking the blame. They have no remorse and they have no empathy. It’s a terrifying relationship to be in as you sometimes think you are going quite mad!
We go out into the world thinking that everyone thinks like we do – caring for others, interested in other people’s lives and view points, easy flow of conversation. But, with a narcissist everything always seems to go wrong – over and over again – and they blame you for this. The fact is there are three stages of a narcissist in a relationship situation. The first stage is the love bombing where they make you feel like the most unique and special person in the entire world. Oh my goodness, they know ALL the words to say to make you crumble. However, once they have your undivided attention they will gradually start to dismiss you and your inner needs and make you out to be too needy. This can be done in numerous ways – you show them a dress you have bought and they make a sarcastic comment about it (jealousy you have something new you will look good in), they show a lack of interest when you want them to watch a movie or a TV show with you (they only watch what THEY like to watch), they may not call you all day or when you call them they say they are too busy to talk and they only text back the next day.
Once they start to dismiss you the next stage is when they discard you. By this time they have started talking to other people and have already got another energy supply ready and waiting – someone who will admire and praise them. Remember, this is because they need outside validation to know who they are. They are in constant need of a dopamine fix and compliments do this for them. Once they have discarded you and you are left wondering what on earth you did – not much time will go by and they will return – love bombing you with all the perfect words and hoovering you back into a relationship.
You do need to open your eyes before you start dating someone – don’t let these people fool you with all the words they use to make you feel beautiful and amazing. Take note of their actions as well. You also need to practice saying no when you feel uncomfortable – and see how they react to this. Although as an empath – because empaths are perfect for narcissists due to their attentive and caring nature – try not to give this person too much nurturing. They will ALWAYS come across as victims and empaths love to help heal a victim – but a narcissist will never stop being a victim as they enjoy the attention that they receive.
Dr. Phil and many other Life Coaches say that there is no way to cure a narcissist. That this mental disorder started from the persons traumatic and chaotic childhood, but I beg to disagree. Most of you reading this will be evolved souls already exploring their own unique spiritual gifts. SO here is a way that you can truly shift a narcissist without causing any emotional harm to yourself. It does take inner strength and effort – but if you believe this person is your soulmate and you can hang on for dear life through sheer faith – here is my solution.
Firstly, you do have to distance yourself from them and go no contact – which is hard because there is already a trauma bond in place between the two of you – having gone through these abusive and confusing cycles many times over. You need to be refreshed and very calm. You need to light a candle and ask the Angels to guide and protect your life and your relationship. You request that the Angels take this person’s soul and bring them life experiences that will allow them to wake up and heal. You then say a short three sentence prayer and of course – show appreciation and gratitude to the Angels for help. If this is a very difficult person who is very head strong – you can also call upon Goddess Isis to assist you. Nothing in this world is more powerful than prayer – especially prayer for another person.
You will never win an argument with a narcissist especially if you have caught them out with something. They have no guilt and no remorse and it is impossible for them to look at themselves in a negative way as it hurts them too deeply. However, by calling upon the Angels to awaken their souls – situations will manifest in the narcissist’s life that will allow them to develop empathy and compassion for others. And to stop manipulating people into thinking they are incredible, admirable and perfect human beings.
I have many unique tips on how to navigate your way through troubled relationships, such as these – so if you ARE struggling get in touch and let me help you turn your relationship around for the better. With good, solid advice as well as spiritual counselling.
Much Love and Light,