By Audrey: Dealing with the fallout after a break up can feel overwhelming. Whether you’re recovering from a romantic separation, a family split, or finally letting go of that toxic friend in your life it’s never easy. Our emotions are high and our anger accompanied by sadness is constantly boiling under our skin. Our mind will drift back to all the happy times we had with that person, this makes us feel deceived and disrespected. All of these feelings are normal and in time you will feel the validation you so desperately crave at this time.
Your remaining relationships will no doubt be offering support and kindness right now, although we may not understand these words of encouragement. These words are and will remain so helpful. It reinforces positive thoughts about ourselves and our remaining social support system leaving us feeling safe and secure. These people in our lives that support and respect us do it from the heart, we must always thank them for their kindness even if we may not agree with them at this present time. We are in a state of relationship mourning depending on family and friends is a key part to the road of relationship recovery.
There are three techniques to aid in this difficult time, being proactive while using grounding techniques, nurturing our joy, and focusing on our functional social relationships.
We need to understand that the universe works in very mysterious ways, whether it’s through a higher entity or destiny we do not have full control of what happens, in fact control is our way we make ourselves feel safe in our lives. We can however be proactive, through organized planning and execution. Some of the ways we can be proactive and aid our relationship recovery is utilizing grounding techniques. When feeling very low and without hope, grounding ourselves offers temporary relief and will get us through the rest of our day. Another way to support ourselves during relationship recovery is feeding our joy. Thinking back to an activity we have done in the past on our own that brought us pure happiness. A large shot of serotonin to the brain that comes from accomplishing a fun activity is exactly what we need during this time of mourning. Not only does it take our minds off the recent separation, it inspires us to become our best version of ourselves once again. Grounding techniques do not need to be complicated, for example taking five deep breaths and giving your body one minute to relax and regroup is one simple way to feel grounded. This clears our mind and opens us up to positive thoughts that lead to manifestation and opportunities in our future.
Focusing on being proactive and organized will restore calm back into our lives. One way of being very organized is simply creating a one year plan, this does not have to be created in January, a one year plan starts whenever we set pen to paper and most importantly when we set our minds to it. Focusing on other parts of our lives besides relationships will create our one year plan, this is the first step in the organizing process. Career is always an excellent area to nurture while in relationship recovery, it is a vehicle to what’s really important, our independence and our joy that comes from financial stability. When our career flourishes we can experience more things, the more we sample from life the more we learn about ourselves and we receive the right knowledge to decide what we really want in life.
Once we have nurtured our joy, embraced proactivity and our grounding techniques, then created our one year plan we can focus on our functional relationships that support and respect us. Nurturing our remaining relationships allows us to feel secure in our social circle as well as empowered through being a vital part of other people’s lives. When all our chips are down on the table, those who rush to our side and offer words of support and kindness deserve the same from us. Planning quality time with our cherished friends and family needs to become a weekly priority. If you are separated by states or oceans make sure you set a time to call or message your support system. This allows them to feel acknowledged and helps us to feel proactive in our social life. Keeping communication steady and offering our support to those in our inner circle is another great way to keep our minds focused on positive social connections. Processing the pain from relationship loss does not have to be carried alone. However we must remember our boundaries, constantly bringing up ourselves and what we are experiencing while not leaving space in the conversation for our friends and family to share, which blocks the most crucial part of the social nurturing process. Conversations between us and friends and family should be evenly split. The topics should always be followed up with positive comments that come from our heart. A successful conversation will be full of empathy, understanding, and as many supportive remarks as we can think of, remember this person is on your side and will continue to be at your side when life inevitably hits a rough patch.
Recovery from the loss of a relationship is possible, it all comes down to us. A positive outlook on ourselves and the other flourishing aspects of our lives is the foot hold we need to make it through recovery. Setting hard boundaries for ourselves and those we let into our lives in the future is also very important for recovery and growth. Doing the same thing again and again expecting the same results is the definition of insanity, it creates chaos and pain and we can no longer let old habits define us. Growth is a much welcomed side effect of relationship recovery. Once the fog has cleared and we’ve really begun to see results from our proactive efforts through organization, the use of grounding techniques such as feeding our joy and our new found focus on functional social relationships in our circle, we will see all the future possibilities filled with joy and comfort that are in store for us.
Love and Light,