By Sarah: Love between two people is a very precious experience but what happens when your loved one is pulling back, blocking you out and is seemingly very distant? You have the suspicion that someone else could be a third wheel in this relationship that you have with the one you love – but how do you prove it to yourself?
There are very obvious signs at first – your significant other suddenly starts taking care of the shape of their body and signs up for the gym and has a new eating plan. They invest in expensive aftershave or perfume and suddenly take an interest in buying new clothes and changing or enhancing their outward appearance. They make excuses to go out and not be in your company – usually it is work that they have to attend to – or so they say! They no longer – or very rarely – want to be intimate with you. Your senses are screaming out that something is very off-center with your relationship and things are no longer feeling the way they used to when you were so connected and deeply in love.
Of course any of the above individually are quite normal signs of a person just leading their own life but when you are in a relationship and your partner suddenly starts changing their behavior your six sense will kick in and tell you that something is not right. You can tell when your partner is straying from the relationship – just like the animal the wolf, you will just sense that things are really ‘off’ but you have no way of proving it, which is usually when someone comes to me for a Tarot Reading and a consultation.
The Tarot is a very good way of seeing and exploring what it is that is going on in your life with your partner and if there is someone else on the scene with a love triangle happening in the shadows. It is amazing how accurately the Tarot picks up that something is being hidden. But the one sure way of finding out if your partner is faithful is —– their cell phone of course!
If your significant other holds their phone very close to them and keeps everything hidden from you, then this could very well be a sure sign that there is something going on behind the scenes.
If you suspect that there is an affair happening and your partner holds onto their phone – before making any accusations or asking questions – its important that you gather your thoughts and rather than become reactive you pull your energy back and become observant. Have a look at how your partner deals wit their phone. Do they have a password that you do not have? Do they keep the phone face down? Do they take their phone with them to the bath room or to the garage? By observing their behavior you will see that the possibility of them hiding something from you has become very real.
I am certainly not suggesting that everyone who has a password on their phone is cheating or having an affair – emotional or physical. But if your partner has become very distant from you and they are obsessing over their phone being with them at all times I would certainly say that something is happening under the surface. Usually when our sixth sense kicks in it is because behavior around you has been slightly changed and your heart and your gut are talking you that there is something wrong.
Gather all the patience and inner strength that you need and choose and appropriate time – for example NOT when you are putting children to sleep or when your partner is heading out of the door to work. Choose a time that is peaceful and calm and you have some time on your hands together – and ask to be shown their phone. Just like that and out of the blue.
You have to be very calm and in control of the situation as if they have something to hide they will blame you for being curious and will find every excuse as to why you cannot see their phone. They will accuse you of not trusting them, they will get very angry and they may even storm out of the room. These are all very serious signs that they are hiding something. With technology today it is very easy to have an online affair with someone when the partner does not have access to the phone. People who are having affairs are very protective over their phone as they feel guilty and have a lot to hide.
In my relationship with my husband, both of us know each others passwords and we regularly switch each others phone to see each others text messaging and social media. In fact I love going on his Facebook to see someone else’s newsfeed and all the interesting things that get shown and promoted. Having access to each others phones deepens the intimacy we have between us.
If your partner leaves the room or the house and then later gives you access to their phone on their terms and at their time – this means that they have deleted all of the evidence. So its very important that on the spot – when you initially ask – they hand over your phone. If they refuse to show you anything on their phone I can say with 90% clarity you have a cheater on your hands.
When you take this situation under your own control you may feel sudden pangs of deep hurt and betrayal which is why you need to be so calm and collected when you confront them. But it is very important to know and understand that anyone who refuses to let their partners view their online apps, text messaging and their Facebook or Instagram account has certainly something to hide. Without a doubt.
Do not let your partner side step you, or belittle you or try to talk their way out of showing you their phone at that moment. For the relationship to heal and for communication to be opened up this is the first step of the journey to open up honesty and healing. You are already feeling some distance in the relationship and I would suggest that a couple of sessions of couple counseling be booked and attended – it takes at least four sessions to be attended to actually see results in your relationship.
So remember – before you ask to see the phone do some silent observation to see how important their phone is to them and when you are ready and are feeling strong and confident – ask your partner to contribute to the trust and intimacy in your relationship by opening up their phone to you.
If they refuse to do this and you are pretty certain something is going on behind the scenes book a session with me and we can look more deeper into the situation. I have personally helped thousands of individuals regain their confidence and self esteem as well as helped them get their relationship get back on a good footing and helped open up the relationship to a higher level of trust.
Love and Light