By Angelica: Are you experiencing emotional pain because of a broken relationship? If you are ready to move forward with your life, here are some tips that have helped my clients manage their broken heart.
Many of us will experience a broken heart after a love relationship in their lifetime. We are spirits living in a human body and put simply, we are here on Earth to have emotional experiences. This means that life will put some painful challenges in our way. The love area can often be more complex with strong feelings and expectations involved between two people.
When love goes wrong or there is an unexpected parting, it can cause immeasurable pain in all parts of our energy; physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. It causes us to ask questions that seem unanswerable and it can raise doubts about our own value and worth as a human being. For some, the emotional roller-coaster that follows is one that can feel unstoppable.
After a lover or partner walks away, it can leave the other in a state of devastation and strong feelings of abandonment may occur. Questions like, ‘is he/she coming back, why did they leave, when are they coming back, are they with someone else, when do you see contact, am I wasting my time waiting, when will I meet someone else’, may arise. Of course, asking these questions is completely normal and valid. But if you are wanting to move forward with your life and stop thinking of the past, there are things you can do to help you heal.
So how do you heal a broken heart?
Healing a heart is a very personal thing and people go through their own grieving process, so what I am sharing here is based on both personal experience as well as helping other clients.
1) Allow the grief; the 1-3 months can be rough, especially if you have known a partner for many years. It is important to set aside time during the day to be alone and process how you feel and also give way to them. Cry, be angry or scream if you need to – being mindful of your own and others’ safety.
2) Get a support network; this is key. It is important to reach out to family and friends as a lifeline to get through this. It could also be helpful to be honest about how you feel, tell them if you are struggling and ask whether they can hang out with you or bring you meals occasionally for the first few weeks or so.
3) Self-love; this is actually the most important point of all. What this means is that you need to put yourself first in every way you can. It is important that your emotional needs of connection with others and time alone are met. You need to learn how to meet your own needs fully again. This is a tough part, but it’s much needed and it is going to build your inner resilience. Get a massage, a facial, a healing, watch a footy match with friends; focus on enjoying things that you love to do. This will get you into a good feeling place. Remember to take healing time out when you need to.
4) Seek professional help; this is important if you are unable to move past the grief or are unable to cope with working, family commitments or looking after yourself on a daily basis. This could also be key in learning to let go of any guilt, shame or blame associated with the breakdown of the relationship. If you are feeling overwhelmed, have no energy or motivation to get out, it could mean you are depressed.
5) Focus on the future; when you are starting to feel stronger and more emotionally balanced, start making plans for your own future, without a partner in it. Start small for e.g. picking up that hobby you never had time for when in a relationship or something bigger, like planning a holiday with a good friend.
6) Meditation: When you are ready, start to refocus on how you feel about the past by meditating. When in a relaxed state, be honest with yourself. Ask yourself if you were actually drifting apart in the relationship, but just didn’t want to admit it? Was their energy running at a lower frequency than yours due to e.g. drinking that the compatibility was no longer there and it was really just a natural end? Is it just loneliness that is making you think of your ex and the past? Do you really think it would be a good idea to go back? Did it end because you learnt what you needed to from him/her? Are you better off being on your own for now while you heal? Did you stay together just for the sake of it? Was it true love or a dependent relationship? Be honest with yourself as this will lead you onto the path of faster healing.
7) Enjoy being alone: once you learn to master your feelings of the past and come to a place of acceptance, you will begin to enjoy the experience of being alone. It brings freedom and a new day, every day. You will feel you are the master of your destiny; it can bring you a real sense of peace. Yes, you had a part to play in it coming to an end, but you are in alignment with that now and accept it was part of your reason to be with that person, to have that experience. To learn about your pain and to learn how to love yourself and trust again.
8) Open the door to new love again; yes, this may sound hard to do. In order to love again, you will need to unlock your broken heart and accept your pain and vulnerability as being a part of life. Once your heart is ready and you are aligned with your own self-worth and love for yourself, you will be able to trust and attract your next partner.
There is no rush to love again as everything happens in its own divine timing.
For more information on attracting your next relationship, read my blog on Lifereader ‘What Can You Do To Manifest A Love Relationship?’.