By Edwina: We are all aware eye contact plays a huge role in our day to day lives. Our interactions with one another involve a great deal of nonverbal dialogue – some so subtle we may miss what’s actually being digressed. Sometimes it is on the subconscious level where the nonverbal is interpreted. It is this, the unspoken word, which reverberates with emotion and can conjure into a commitment of trust between two people – providing enough time is given for it to blossom.
So how can we learn to recognize when our date is truly interested in us?
It has been suggested words only constitute for part of the picture, when it comes down what is being communicated. Whereas our eye patterns, our body language, and other nonverbal cues express 70% more information with regards to what’s actually being said.
This however is not to completely undermine the power of word – a great conversationalist will always perform well on the dating scene and certainly good conversation is a strong sign of a successful date! Perhaps where long term commitment comes into play is when we understand the agenda of the person we are seeing, and perhaps in this regard; this is where the nonverbal cues can signal whether we’re ordering dessert or heading for the exit.
No doubt, nothing is ever a 100% proof, but the dilation of the pupils and deep eye contact are keen signs your date is interested. The psychology behind our behavior usually takes us down such avenues as Neural linguistic Programming (NLP), where methods of mirroring another’s eye and body language constitute our ability to be persuasive. But to understand more about the eyes, here are some cues to look out for when observing the windows to the soul.
• Looking Right or Left
First of all, let’s clear one thing up – looking left does not necessarily denote dishonesty! There are other factors which would need to be taken into consideration before coming to this conclusion, including other body language cues. If the eyes look left or right, may indicate doubt, suspicion, or even a lack of commitment. On the other hand, a sideways glance can be interpreted as a sign of courtship. Either way, it is important to remind yourself, every eye reaction will not be a reflection on you but maybe something else. Pay attention to the topic of conversation and environment, when decoding the nonverbal cues.
• Looking Up or Down
Looking up is something we all do, and usually when we are thinking of how to answer a question. This can be a good sign while on a date! The fact your date is taking their time to articulate their words could indicate they are trying to impress you and therefore very much interested! Looking downward is perhaps more difficult to interpret. It could mean your date is nervous and shy or uninterested. Certainly how we read the eyes can shape where the conversation goes. If your date is continually looking down, then it would be fair and appropriate to enquire why? Just keep in mind some cultures conduct themselves in this manner.
• Rubbing of the eyes
Interesting fact: when the eyelids are rubbed, they have the power to stimulate the Vagus Nerve, which in turn relaxes the body’s heart rate and breathing. This is an autonomous response we all perform when tired or stressed.
Obviously, rubbing the eyes can also help evade any uncomfortable conversation by cutting off from the person, even if for a brief moment. This visual reset cue is worth watching out for, since it could mean the conversation has landed on uneasy terrain and perhaps should be left alone for the time being. Also worth mentioning, eye rubbing is much more common in men than woman. Since women are more conditioned to not touch their face and smudge makeup.
• Over blinking
Just like the visual reset of rubbing the eyes, blinking is also a cue which cuts off from the person. Blink blocking is most likely going to be a tell tail sign that a date is not going well. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and sadly not all can see it. So if you find your date is blinking for any duration longer than 3 seconds, then it might be polite to ask if they are ok or if you should get the bill. Alternatively, your date might be reacting with disbelief to what you’re saying.
• Eyes Shifting
An indicator for when someone is not necessarily happy with what is being said, can be darting eyes. When doubt and worry occurs, our eyes will sometimes assess events in this darting fashion. In fight or flight situation this might occur. Alternatively, shifting eyes could be a sign of attraction, particularly if your date’s eyes keep shifting to your lips.
A method called The Triangle Technique was developed by Steven Aitchison, and it utilizes shifting – the method involves softening your gaze and alternating your focus on three different points. These include the eyes and the mouth, spending roughly 5 seconds at each point, on a continual cycle. By switching your focus in this manner and throwing in a nod of agreement here and there, is a great way in which to show someone that you’re interested in them.
The cues laid out may serve you well, both on dates and in life in general. You may even be already aware of some of them. Regardless, it is important we also recognize the importance of having a bit of mystery to perplex and salivate our hearts and minds. The true magic in finding love should be the journey of not knowing what’s coming next. Yes, it is a gamble of the heart and we hope, while rolling the dice, we do not land a snake-eyes. But ultimately if we could read every thought in the minds of others through the eyes or telepathically, we would ultimately become bored and fed up.
No doubt some you of may disagree and perhaps you already have someone in your life who you feel is holding something back! If you would like to investigate this further, get in contact with me. As a psychic and healer, I have helped many clients with relationship issues in the past and now invite you to do the same. By connecting to your lover’s auric field it is possible to break through the veil of mystery surrounding them and understand their energetic behavior. If not, I hope you enjoyed my latest blog and wish you well.
Love and Light,