By Mary-Anne: Divorce equals heartbreak, huge sense of loss, major loss of self confidence, rejection, misery and sadness. How do we ever get over them?
I remember the misery and sadness that accompanied the breakup of my marriage. The hurt was almost unbearable. I couldn’t sleep, eat or even think straight. I cried constantly, I had eyes that were like slits they were so puffy. As with most of us in that situation, the weight loss was huge.
All you want is the person to be back in your life. You crave the telephone calls that you used to get so irritated by. The silly little quirks they had are now the best thing about them. They are the only one you want and nobody will ever love him/her the way you did.
You forget the negative things very quickly. The mental abuse that nobody believes is happening, mainly because they can’t see any damage or open wounds. Who can see inside your head?
The doctors tell your partner that you are suffering from depression and that although you look very healthy on the outside, on the inside you are extremely ill. That is just too much for them to take in and they expect you to carry with your life as if there is absolutely nothing wrong. They are selfish and only can think of what they want. You have to go along with their way of doing things. Communication is a lost cause in the relationship.
The people around you try and tell you that all will be good and that in a few years time you will laugh about what has happened. You look at them totally flabbergasted, a few years? I won’t live that long – you thought at the time.
You have a child /children to think about and this is almost the only thing that keeps you going. The love they show you is totally unconditional. In my case, my daughter started getting a mother that she did not know. Previously I hardly ever laughed, joked or did anything with her. Now we became a united team and worked alongside each other every step of the way.
Slowly, very slowly life starts to get better. One day you suddenly realize that the telephone calls that you were so desperate to receive no longer mean that much. You happen to see each other and you realize that you are no longer attracted to them like you used to be. Time certainly does heal most wounds. You wake up one day and find that the few years have passed as predicted and you are actually laughing about the past. You can now think of that ex-partner in terms of a person you happened to know a long time ago. The only good they ever did for you was to give you the child / children that got you through the hurt all those years ago.
You heal and meet somebody new and you new life cycle starts all over again. This time however, you learned from your previous mistakes and enjoy a loving and happy relationship.
Love, light and many blessings to you all.