Changing how we think about our emotions

The first Mercury retrograde of 2014 (February 6-28) is beginning soon, and if you are familiar with these periods, then you are also familiar with how frustrating they can be.  Misunderstandings, communication problems and conflicts often arise when Mercury the trickster makes his mischief!  Since we all experience the changes in anger and anxiety (in ourselves and others) during this time, it is worthwhile to explore anger, how we manifest it and how we can control it’s triggers.

Extensive studies have been made of anger and anger management.  Anger has it’s basis in many different emotional areas including fear, shame and guilt.  Anger also has it’s basis in individual values which are developed over many years.  Consequently, when we are faced with an idea or action that is contrary to our values or belief systems, sometimes the reaction can be anger.  The formation of these ideas and beliefs can also vary depending on the individual and also cultural influences.   These influences can trigger anger when others do not behave the way we believe they should.  These values and beliefs are encoded in our psyche as a sort of “script” and when something is contrary to that script, it can trigger a reaction.

Anger becomes dangerous because individuals are much more likely to behave aggressively when they are in angry state of mind. The reason so many people seem to be addicted to anger is because it can be highly effective at gaining and maintaining control over others.  Because of those reinforcements, anger frequently goes unchecked and as such, is becoming more and more of an accepted form of behavior.

The key to managing anger is to recognize our triggers and also examine what conditioned beliefs may be the basis of these triggers.  Much of this is based on perception, as well.  And as we all know, one person’s perception of a situation or interaction can vary greatly from another!  This is why thinking about anger, and where it comes from is never a wasted endeavor.

This is also where an intuitive reading can really help you.  As a neutral third party,  I can help you get outside of your own ‘scripted’ ideas and reactions about situations, and see your situation from a fresh vantage point.   It is also really important to remember, again, that when a person gets angry, it can be a result of how they perceive events around them.  Once you become more aware of how you perceive what is happening around you, then you can begin to effectively examine the feelings that arise from those perceptions and also change your circumstances for the better.

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