A Journey To Soul Mating

By Sofia: When will you find the love you deserve to have in your life? 

We all dream of an everlasting romance; dinner dates, flowers and getaways with your person sound amazing! Right? These are only a few of the things you want to experience with a significant other to feel loved, appreciated and important in someone’s life. The question is, are these experiences enough to feel the true essence of love? 

Most of us are on a never-ending quest to find our soulmate. We ask ourselves the same question over and over, as to when and how to meet our soulmate. The one who will be with us for the rest of our life. We want to experience life to the fullest with them, travel, laugh, adventure, have passionate sex, build a joyous home together… Yet, no matter how much our partner will give us his undivided attention, nothing will help you connect to his heart, unless you find a way to connect to yours first.

We all “think” that we love ourselves, and I used to be one of them. At the age of almost 39, I can tell you that I spent most of my life being at war… mainly with myself, but as a consequence with others too! I always wanted love into my life, and I made it my mission to be a lover. This is actually why I became a divine feminine relationship coach. 

I cut the crap and the excuses, and I took a very intimate journey on “listening” to my stories… the “nasty” voices, the judgements, the victim and the child within me… The reasons I become defensive, my triggers, my insecurities and all the reasons why I don’t feel worthy and enough of love. You may not really understand it, but every time you feel anxious, suspicious, bad or find yourself in self-doubt you argue with yourself… The war is real. 

I can assure you that it was and still is messy.  I was lacking though a very deep and fundamental relationship skill… The relationship with myself.  This is a relationship that no one can build for you, but only you. As I kept noticing and listening, I discovered my needs, my wants, my feelings, but most importantly, I made a practice to love all the parts of who I am. Radical acceptance has changed my life and opened the door to be brave enough to communicate my feelings, needs and boundaries to my man. 

I didn’t do it overnight and for sure, I didn’t do it gracefully. There were moments that when my man was “doing” something I didn’t like, I would get angry, stuff down my feelings and pretend that I am cool. I would just shut down and want to run away, because it feels easier to avoid, instead of being vulnerable and speak my truth. Unfortunately, the only person I was “punishing” or betraying in such situations was me, not him.

Learning to be a lover, and communicate what I really need and want when things get “ugly” with my man is the most intimate and most vulnerable I have been, yet the most loving and strongest version of myself. Being able to stand into my power and express unapologetically who I am is healing, not only for me, but for him too. 

The way I treat, speak, accept and love myself is the way I love him too. So, quietly and notice, how do you treat yourself? What stories do you tell about men? Starting a relationship is easy… It usually starts with excitement and passion, but ask yourself honestly and without judgement, do you have the ability to maintain it? 

Love and Light, 

Sofia