Creating a loving relationship may require you to rethink and dispel certain myths.
You always know how successful your relationship is by how you feel about each other.
• Emotions and feeling change with time and are not reliable indicators of how successful your relationship is.
• A better predictor is how well you meet your own needs
You can always gage your communication effectiveness by how well you know each other.
• Reality is that your ability to communicate is entirely independent of whether or not you either know or love someone.
• Communication means a willingness to speak from your genuine inner experience.
My partner or spouse comes from a loving family so I know they will be loving as well.
• Loving families are based on a parent/child relationships, which is quite different than an adult/adult relationships
Living together before a commitment will help us determine if the relationship is solid.
• Divorce/separation/parting of ways, is not lower among couples who live together first.
• A formal commitment seems to alter the psychological makeup of a relationship
• Public acknowledgement often strengthens the resolve to be successful
Love and sex are the same.
• One can never get enough sexual contact to fulfill a need for love
• They are two different things. Parents love their children and this has nothing to do with sex
The best advice I can give is this. Don’t make excuses. If it feels wrong it probably is.
Don’t force a relationship. Let it develop organically. Life will naturally make space for relationships that are valuable for you.
And don’t look for someone you are not willing to be.If you truly want a successful and loving relationship it is necessary to be that person.